Is it okay to be happy?

~ ~M

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“I often feel guilty for being happy.” ~M

I was once given a death threat by a roommate of mine, who claimed that I was too happy.  She threatened to slit my throat while I slept, because she said I was way too happy all the time.  For some reason my happiness really bothered her.

After spending months in the same room with this girl, she was finally taken forcefully from the barracks, and transported to a psychiatric ward.  She was found to have knives strapped to her thighs, and a suicide letter next to her bed.

I have found it hard to be happy in front of people since that day.  I feel that somehow my happiness only seems to bring others down, who are not experiencing the same joy in their own lives.  Maybe there is still a part of me that fears what may happen, if perhaps I am too joyful around others.  Regardless, I am very cautious now and I doubt that will ever change.

It’s so sad to me, that we live in a world where even our own happiness can be threatening to others who long to be happy themselves.  I wish I didn’t have to feel guilty for being happy as often as I do.  I suppose this is another reason why I find myself wanting to be alone so often.  Secluding myself from others, means that I will never have to hurt them.

Life is so difficult at times, this is just another example of why I feel like I can never fully be myself around others.  It’s a sad state we live in, when we cannot even show our own happiness.

Photo found at: sonalororra.wordpress.com

Published by ~M

“When the weight of the world is upon you and you're left spinning out of control. When you’ve been plunged head first into darkness, and you don’t know where to go. Simply follow that tiny flicker of light, far off in the distance somewhere. It’ll lead you to a place where love abounds and where hope is found everywhere.” ~M

21 thoughts on “Is it okay to be happy?”

  1. Pingback: Day 140 – No It’s Not – Short Story | Twisted Roads of Madness

    1. Well all of my stories are based on actual events or dreams. In this case, this event was an actual real life occurrence. It’s haunted me and another roommate of mine for years….. as we were both threatened. I suppose I thought I was invincible back then, so I didn’t really take the threats seriously, until of course the evidence of what she was capable of became clear.

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  4. I believe it’s important to express our happiness into the world. It isn’t always understood but it also gives hope of what happiness can be and it is a contagious energy that we would want spreading all around us.😀

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  6. Happiness is something that should inspire, but it is often time rejected because so many think that if I can’t be happy no one should be happy. If we all smiled just a bit more I think this world would see less suffering. Stay Happy….

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