New Series… Tales of the Dark Side – (Part 1, Childhood Pranks)

Yes, I was the bratty older sister, and anyone who has known me long enough, realizes just how naughty I can be.  Most of my friends and family members know, that if the opportunity arises for me to pull a good prank, I’m usually up for the challenge.  So let me take you back to my senior year in high school…

I had a brother who was an annoying twerp.  Being he was eleven years younger than me, I loathed his presence most days; and since he was much younger, he sort of put a crimp in my bleached blond style.  Especially on one particular day, I remember it well…

I had just gotten home from shopping with my super cool boyfriend, Eddie Spaghetti.  I know… some nickname, but it’s what his sister called him, so it was a name that stuck.  Anyway, Eddie dropped me off at my door, and I went inside wearing my brand new suede jacket.  I had been saving my money from an after school job for months, and even though the jacket was a size too big, I had bought it anyway.  It was exactly what I felt I needed, to properly fit in at school.

I headed for the kitchen, starved from not eating all day, and saw my brother standing there holding a can of coke.  I sauntered over to him, showing off my new look, and said very casually, “What do you think of my new suede jacket?  It only cost me $300.”  Well, that did it, my brother had just taken a huge swig of soda, and he immediately started choking.

Coke began spurting uncontrollably out of his nose and then shot straight out from his mouth, spraying ruthlessly in my direction.  By the end of his choking fit, (yes, you guessed it) I was completely covered in a thick layer of coke spittle.  Or should I say, my new $300 jacket was covered.  My brother immediately started laughing and pointing his finger at me, and in his taunting young voice, he said, “Ha ha… I ruined your new jacket…”

I stood there in shock, trying to absorb what had just happened, and then I suddenly lost all control.  All I knew in that moment, was that my brother needed to be taken down, strangled, and left for dead.  Well, as I was in the process of choking the living hell out of my angelic little brother, my mother happened to show up.

Having just gotten home, she didn’t seem very happy with what she had walked into.  As expected, I got the full ass chewing, about a million crude words hissed at me, and booted into my room where I was grounded for the rest of the day.  I still wanted to kill my brother, but knew I’d never be able to get away with it.  Then the idea of revenge began to seep into my mind.

 

To be continued… here

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The Daily Post prompt – Not Lemonade