Silent words of love…

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“Love… It’s as much in the words that aren’t said as it is in the ones that are, and it’s easy to hear those silent words if you just listen with your heart.” ~M


Photo credit: Pixabay.com

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#MidnightMadness – 5/7/2018

Every morning my girls and I come up with a new writing prompt, and then we proceed to write together for 10 minutes.  Brianna is my 16 yr old and Autumn is my 9 yr old.  Here’s our conversation from a few days ago…

Me – “How about we do the prompt, Aspirations of Autumn?”

Brianna – “Mom… that’s so one dimensional since we already know exactly what Autumn will do when she grows up.”

Me – “🙄😳🤐”

Buffalo sauce sayings…

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We went to the zoo today, and my 9 yr old daughter pointed over at the buffalo and said, “Well, there’s what makes our sauce!”

It didn’t register with me at first what she had actually said.  Then when I realized what she meant, I couldn’t stop laughing.  She always succeeds in making me laugh.  Lol…

Thank you my sweet Auti for always being you.  I think one of the reasons God gave me you was because he knew I needed to laugh more.  You bring a rainbow of color wherever you go and the sun never stops shining when you’re around.


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What inspires you?

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What inspires you?

This is the thought running through my mind today as it’s been nearly a month now since I’ve had any inspiration to do much of anything. It’s as if a light switch has been turned off inside my brain and I almost feel as if all of my emotions have left me. I think it’s very difficult for a writer to write anything when they feel emotionless. Especially as a poet, we live for emotions and all the wonderful words that spill out of hearts and minds. I think I’ve shut off a lot of my emotions because it somehow seems easier that way. I’ve also found myself pulling away from people more often. There are a few who I still let in, but for the most part, I don’t really share what’s going on in my life. As I get older, there seems to be so much more drama, and I suppose I’ve been feeling the need to sort of rid myself from all of that. I call it self-preservation, and I know it’s simply necessary at times.

I don’t feel in any way like I am suffering from depression, even though it may look that way to outsiders. I’m actually feeling very content right now, just to be alone and to reevaluate my life. I’ve been homeschooling my girls for 12 years, and even though I love the time I have with them, I still miss my career in Biotechnology more than ever. It’s hard being a mom sometimes. I’m pulled in so many different directions. I’m often not sure which path to take, but I always try to put my girls first in every long-term decision that I make. And yet now that they’re getting older, and my two oldest daughters are married and starting lives of their own, I’m finally taking the time to consider what I want for a change.

I really want to work outside the home again. I honestly miss my 60 hour work weeks because I truly did love my job, and I’d like to find another job that I can enjoy just as much. I’ve recently enrolled back in school, and at 46, I think I’m one of the oldest students in my class. But it matters not, I’m determined to start a second career even at my age. This time around I’m pursuing a degree in digital media and web design. I’ve been saying for years that I wanted to get into web design but didn’t think I could afford the cost of school. After checking into it though, I found out that I qualified for government grants, and I also applied for a scholarship. And between the two, I haven’t had to pay a dime. So now I sit here wondering why I waited so long to take the plunge and I’m practically kicking myself for not doing it sooner.

The good thing is, I’m doing it now, and I’ve got to stop looking back and just keep moving forward. I feel as if time is running out in some respects. It’s almost like there’s this invisible force pushing me along, telling me to hurry up before it’s too late. Sometimes it helps me to get away and quiet myself for a few days, and so I’m currently sitting all alone in a lovely cottage in the woods. It’s absolutely beautiful here, and I’m finding that this is probably the first inspiring day I’ve had in a very long time. The sun is shining through my window, and I’m so thankful to have this time to reflect and hopefully turn the light switch to inspiration back on. I’ve got three more days here to figure out how to do just that and determination is starting to settle in. It’s blessings like these that keep me going. I hope all of you are having a very blessed week as well and I’d like to know, what inspires you? ~M xo


Photo credit:  pixabay.com

Would you rather?

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I was just playing one of my favorite games with my girls tonight called, “Would you Rather.”  It’s a great question and answer game and for one of the challenges my oldest daughter had to come up with her own question.  She asked this… “If you had the ability, would you rather change something in the past for the better or something in the future?  And as I thought about this question, I thought I’d rather change something in the future, because the idea of changing the past always makes me wonder if I’d likely then screw up the future.  But then my youngest daughter had this perspective, she said she’d rather change something in the past because in that way it would likely fix something in the future as well.  So in her mind, she was killing two birds with one stone.  Lol… She is always so much more optimistic than I am.  I suppose it’s a gamble either way no matter what choice is made.  What would you do and why?

#MidnightMadness – 12/21/2017

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Brianna – “Mom, what’s the male version of a feminist? A menimist?

Me – “No dear… he’s simply called a man.”

 

*And yes, for all who would like to argue the point, there is such a thing as a masculist.  But do men really need a name for it?  Lol…  😉


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#MidnightMadness – 10/18/2017

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For health class today, we were discussing attitudes between children and their parents.  We had to read a cartoon about a girl and her mother having a fight and then learned how they resolved their conflict.

I said to my girls… “I think it’s really great that I hardly ever have any conflict with you girls.  You always seem to do what you’re told and I never seem to have a problem with either one of you.”

Then I decided to ask them why they always behave so well.

Brianna said, “Because mom… we know better than to get you upset with us.”

I said, “Why, do I rule with an iron fist?”

Brianna said, “Yes mom, you really do, but at least you rule us with a cute, adorable, iron fist.

Such a sweet talker she is!  Lol…  😉


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#MidnightMadness – 10/11/2017

I was busy writing in my office tonight, when my little Auti charged through the door and announced that she had a huge surprise for me.  She proceeded to drag me out of my office, through the living room, and then stopped me right in front of my bedroom door.  I was told to shut my eyes, and was then led into my bedroom where our family computer resides.  I was finally told to open my eyes and have a peek.  This is what was on the computer screen, written just for me…

Dear mommy I love you and I want to say you’re the best I love you and you love me every day is the best with you and I think you think the same thing I hope you’re doing well so I love you hopefully you enjoyed reading this as I loved writing this have a wonderful night from: autumn ;-D

This was just the sweetest note I could ever receive!  I think perhaps we need to work on her punctuation a bit, but there was no way I was going to point that out when her big blue eyes were staring up at me, looking for approval.  She’s currently in my bedroom again, writing poetry and yelling for me to come and take a look.  So I mustn’t keep her waiting!  Sounds like it’s a Christmas poem this time!  Lol… 😉

MidnightMadness – 9/19/2017

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I have no idea how we got on the subject of hair, but as we were all sitting around the dinner table, my sixteen-year-old daughter Brianna ran her hand through her hair and said, “Look, mom, my hair is as soft as butter.”  I gave her a nod of agreement but then nearly spit out my food as my nine-year-old daughter Autumn replied, “Well, that’s just because your hair is so greasy!”  Brianna and I both nearly peed our pants after hearing that one.  We must have all laughed for at least ten minutes.  Oh, the things that girl says!   😉

 

Picking up the pieces

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Today as I was preparing lunch for my 7 yr. old daughter, we had a bit of a disaster.  My daughter Autumn loves to be in the kitchen with me and I very much appreciate her help.  Unfortunately, today as she was reaching into the cupboard to grab a plate, the outcome didn’t end so well.  All of a sudden, I heard the sound of glass shattering and turned around to see what had happened.  Pieces of glass were everywhere, even at the far ends of the kitchen.  I immediately ran over to my daughter to make sure that she was okay.  I looked her over carefully, making sure that there weren’t any remnants of glass left on her.  Then, because she was barefoot, I carried her into the other room and checked her over for any scratches that she may have gotten.  Thankfully she was okay, and so with a huge sigh of relief, I then began the tedious process of cleaning up all of the glass.

It didn’t take long for me to notice just how tiny the pieces were.  Little slivers littered the countertop and dusted the floor.  I tried sweeping, vacuuming, and even mopping; anything to try and get rid of the tiny little shards, which seemed to be embedded into the hardwood floor.  The more pieces I picked up, the more pieces I seemed to find.  I thought I might never see the end of the mess.  Eventually, though, everything was cleaned up.  I put all of the cleaning supplies away and decided to finish making lunch.  Yet even then… after scouring, dusting, mopping, sweeping, and vacuuming, I still continued to find more remnants of glass.

This little incident reminded me of life, and how so often we face brokenness ourselves.  We pick up the pieces and go on, but we never quite seem to be able to find all of the pieces at once.  Then, once in a while, we’ll find a piece later on and sometimes it isn’t a very pleasant experience when we do.  We often find ourselves wounded when a piece is unexpectedly found.  Then we think to ourselves… I thought I had found all of those pieces, I wonder if there are still more left to find?  It makes us question whether or not we are really safe from the shards that seem to mar our past.  Will we keep finding more?  Or is it finally safe to walk around barefoot and freely once again?


Originally posted: April 14, 2016

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#MidnightMadness – 08/29/2017

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An early morning conversation with my 8 year old daughter…

 

Autumn – “Hey mom, guess what!?”

Me – “What?”

Autumn – “I just made fresh eggs for breakfast!”

Me – “Oh?”

Autumn – “Yeah… wanna know how I know the eggs were fresh?”

Me – “Okay, tell me…”

Autumn – “Well, the carton says so!  See… right here.  It says Farm Fresh Eggs!”

Me – “Oh, is that so…”

Autumn – “Yeah, isn’t it great!”

 

I didn’t have the heart to tell her that those eggs had been in the fridge for at least two weeks… After all, the box said they were fresh!  Lol….

 

#MidnightMadness – 5/23/2017

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“Hey Mom!  What is this, a knitting needle?”

Caitlyn Cook (daughter, age 23)

 

How many of you know what this is?  I suppose it could pass for a crochet needle, but it’s actually an orange peeler.  My girls never cease to surprise me by their odd questions, even at this age.  Lol…. 😉

#MidnightMadness – 5/5/2017

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One night, my youngest daughter Autumn (who was about 5 yrs. old at the time) was visited by the tooth fairy.  The next morning I asked her if the tooth fairy had come.  She nodded yes and had a very glum look on her face.  I asked her what was wrong and she told me to come see for myself.  After following her into her bedroom, she pulled out a one dollar bill from under her pillow and said, “See… this is what she gave me!”  I said, “Oh, a dollar!  That’s exciting!  She shook her head in disagreement and said, “Well, the last time I got a whole quarter!”


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#MidnightMadness – 4/26/2017

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As a child, I never quite understand the purpose or point of imaginary friends.  Maybe it was the fact that I disliked the real friends I had so much, that there was no possible way I would have ever wanted to make more of them in imaginary form.  All of my children have had imaginary friends, so it sort of got me wondering why I never did.  Have any of you ever had an imaginary friend?


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