Category Archives: Tales of the Dark Side

Tales of the Dark Side – (Part 2, The Broom Incident)

Continued from:  Tales of the Dark Side – (Part 1, The Broom Incident)

It was actually quite comforting to be back home.  Five months of military training had worn me out, and I was excited to have a few weeks off, before having to report to my first permanent duty station.

As I readied the kitchen to steam the spice broom, I began to daydream about a guy I had recently met during AIT.  He had the bluest eyes of anyone I had ever met, and I loved the way they lit up whenever I caught him smiling at me.

Mom didn’t know it yet, but I had actually gotten a tattoo while I was in AIT, and this guy I liked, (Kyle) had actually forked over the money to pay for my tattoo.  He had even told me that he wanted to marry me and had begun working an extra job, in order to save for our future together.  And yet I was still surprised to see twenty-four long stemmed roses delivered to the house earlier that day.  I wondered… could he really be the one?

After becoming lost in my thoughts of Kyle, I soon realized the pot of water had begun to boil.  Grabbing the spice broom, I carefully held it over the steaming pot of water.  The rich spicy scent of cinnamon soon enveloped the tiny kitchen, and I stood there patiently steaming the broom, entranced by thoughts of Kyle and reveling in the euphoric smell which now engulfed me.

All of a sudden, my day-dreamy eyes caught sight of a wisp of smoke, which seemed to be curling up from underneath the broom.  Then, not even a second later, the entire broom burst into flames.  I couldn’t believe my eyes, and for a split second, I had no idea what to do.  I began to panic, shaking the broom violently, hoping this would somehow put the fire out.

I had just been trained on how to: throw a live grenade, operate a machine gun, set up a land mine, fire a grenade launcher, shoot an M16 rifle, survive in a gas chamber, fight off a person using hand to hand combat, stab someone efficiently with a bayonet, and yet for the life of me, I had no idea in this moment, how to put out the blazing fire which was now right in front of me.

Then suddenly out of nowhere, instinct kicked in and I knew what I had to do.  So without another thought, I held onto the broom as tightly as I could and raced to the back door.  I pushed open the glass sliding door as far as it would go and then threw the broom down onto the concrete patio.  I began stomping out the fire as best I could and then ran quickly back inside to get a bucket of water.

The broom was still smoldering when I returned, and yet the water did the trick.  The broom hissed and steamed at me as I doused it with the entire bucket of water.  Looking down, all that was left, was the tightly woven handle of the broom, the rest of it had completely disintegrated into a pile of ash.

Breathing a huge sigh of relief, I went back into the kitchen, where a thick haze of smoke now lingered near the ceiling.  I knew my parents were sure to kill me when they returned.  My stupidity had almost cost them their entire house, and I felt like a complete idiot.  So much for the courageous soldier, I thought I had become.  It turned out, I was still the same foolish girl I had always been.


The Daily Post prompt – Instinct

Tales of the Dark Side – (Part 1, The Broom Incident)

At the age of 19, I enlisted in the Army.  By the time I finally got shipped out, I was 20 years old and ready for the adventure of a lifetime.  After finishing boot camp and AIT (Advanced Individual Training), I decided it was time to go back home and visit my parents.  I’d like to say I was a bit smarter and wiser at that point, but as you’ll soon see, I was still really naïve.

I was fairly happy to be home again.  It had been two years since my mother had dared me to leave, and of course, I had been all too eager to accept her offer.  On this particular day, my parents left to go shopping and so I decided to tidy up a bit and surprise my mother like old times.  I began cleaning and scrubbing the entire house from top to bottom, and when I was finished, I wondered if there was anything else I could do to improve the place.

I noticed a cinnamon scented spice broom over by the hearth and remembered that I had sent it to my mother for Christmas.  I picked it up to see if it still smelled as good as I’d remembered, and was somewhat disappointed that the scent had mostly faded.  Around the top of the broom handle, was a small tag; and I was happy to see that it actually provided directions for maintaining the cinnamon scent.  After reading the directions over, I decided to give it a try.

The directions said to hold the broom over a pot of boiling water, in order for the steam to refresh the cinnamon smell.  So without any worries at all, I proceeded to the kitchen to steam the broom.  I was so excited, because I love the scent of cinnamon, and I knew my mother would be pleasantly surprised when she returned.  I hadn’t counted on what would happen next.

Continued here.

Tales of the Dark Side – (Part 2, Childhood Pranks)

Continuation of:  Tales of the Dark Side – (Part 1, Childhood Pranks)

For the remainder of the day, I sat in my cramped bedroom; starring at the ugly whitewashed walls.  I was still furious because of the coke spitting incident; and my mother always seemed to take my brother’s side, since he was the youngest.  I knew, however, that my brother was not such an innocent darling; regardless of what my mother thought.

Admittedly, I wasn’t the most virtuous child either.  Yet now, as a teenager, I felt I had the right to express myself; and l knew I couldn’t just let my brother get away with ruining my expensive jacket.  I had to take matters into my own hands.  The thing was, I had no idea what I could do to repay my brother for his cruel assault on my jacket.

My mother watched me like a hawk, and she swooped down at every opportunity, to steal away my advantage; which is why I knew I had to be extremely sneaky when planning my retribution.  A few days passed, and my brother continued to repeat his same old shenanigans.  One night, I even caught him drinking an entire bottle of Hershey’s syrup.  Of course, it did no good to tattle on him, mom would never believe her precious son would do such a thing; and even if she suspected such things, she disregarded the idea as nonsense.

I mostly just stayed locked away in my room.  Knowing full-well that anything I said, could quite possibly be used against me.  One afternoon, though, my mother was out once again.  It was just my brother, sister, and me.  As I was making lunch for the three of us, I noticed a brown bag in the refrigerator and wondered what was inside.  After further inspection, I realized it was a urine sample, my mother was supposed to take to her doctor appointment the very next day.  I also noticed that the urine was in an old maraschino cherry jar, and suddenly a very naughty idea came to my mind.

As I was contemplating my next move, my little sister skipped into the kitchen, and I couldn’t help but divulge to her what I was about to do.  Taking the jar of urine out of the bag, I left it on one of the shelves in the refrigerator and then proceeded to call my brother into the kitchen.  He came running in, all smiles, wondering what I wanted.  I said, “Hey David, there’s an empty jar of maraschino cherries in there, but the leftover juice from the cherries is still in the jar, and I give you permission to drink it.”

Happily, my brother went to the fridge and helped himself.  Putting the jar to his mouth, he proceeded to take a big gulp of what he thought was cherry juice.  The reaction was almost instantaneous, as he quickly realized whatever was in that jar, was not cherry juice. My sister and I started laughing uncontrollably, as my brother demanded to know what was in that jar.  I could barely speak I was laughing so hard, and boy was he furious when he found out what I had tricked him into drinking.

The funny thing is, our mother came home later that evening, nobody, not even my brother dared to tell her what had happened.  I think my brother was too embarrassed by what he had done, and my sister and I knew of course what mom would do to us if she ever found out.  Let’s just say, my brother wasn’t so eager to steal food out of the fridge anymore, and he has never forgotten that horrible prank I pulled on him.  But we’re even now, and that’s all that matters.


The Daily Post prompt – Not Lemonade

New Series… Tales of the Dark Side – (Part 1, Childhood Pranks)

Yes, I was the bratty older sister, and anyone who has known me long enough, realizes just how naughty I can be.  Most of my friends and family members know, that if the opportunity arises for me to pull a good prank, I’m usually up for the challenge.  So let me take you back to my senior year in high school…

I had a brother who was an annoying twerp.  Being he was eleven years younger than me, I loathed his presence most days; and since he was much younger, he sort of put a crimp in my bleached blond style.  Especially on one particular day, I remember it well…

I had just gotten home from shopping with my super cool boyfriend, Eddie Spaghetti.  I know… some nickname, but it’s what his sister called him, so it was a name that stuck.  Anyway, Eddie dropped me off at my door, and I went inside wearing my brand new suede jacket.  I had been saving my money from an after school job for months, and even though the jacket was a size too big, I had bought it anyway.  It was exactly what I felt I needed, to properly fit in at school.

I headed for the kitchen, starved from not eating all day, and saw my brother standing there holding a can of coke.  I sauntered over to him, showing off my new look, and said very casually, “What do you think of my new suede jacket?  It only cost me $300.”  Well, that did it, my brother had just taken a huge swig of soda, and he immediately started choking.

Coke began spurting uncontrollably out of his nose and then shot straight out from his mouth, spraying ruthlessly in my direction.  By the end of his choking fit, (yes, you guessed it) I was completely covered in a thick layer of coke spittle.  Or should I say, my new $300 jacket was covered.  My brother immediately started laughing and pointing his finger at me, and in his taunting young voice, he said, “Ha ha… I ruined your new jacket…”

I stood there in shock, trying to absorb what had just happened, and then I suddenly lost all control.  All I knew in that moment, was that my brother needed to be taken down, strangled, and left for dead.  Well, as I was in the process of choking the living hell out of my angelic little brother, my mother happened to show up.

Having just gotten home, she didn’t seem very happy with what she had walked into.  As expected, I got the full ass chewing, about a million crude words hissed at me, and booted into my room where I was grounded for the rest of the day.  I still wanted to kill my brother, but knew I’d never be able to get away with it.  Then the idea of revenge began to seep into my mind.

 

To be continued… here


The Daily Post prompt – Not Lemonade