“There’s a fine line between distinguished and extinguished.” ~M
Photo credit: pixabay.com
Photo credit: pixabay.com
Here’s what my daughter Brianna had to say as she was trying to cheer me up…
Brianna – “Mom, there’s one good thing about being sick, eventually you get better! So be glad for that! Unless of course you die…”
Me – “Oh that makes me feel a ton better!” Lol….
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In the spirit of Halloween, here’s the beginning of a short story, that I wrote a couple of years ago. Enjoy!
Nobody knows my secret and sometimes I doubt who I am myself. There’s a part of me that misses being human and another part of me that remembers the heartache that human life brings. The emotional ties to people no longer exist in my current state. I am finally able to be who I’ve always wanted to be, free of the emotional hang ups that used to rip my heart right out of my chest. Now I call the shots, I make the rules, I set the stage. Isn’t this what living should be? Nobody telling me what to do or how to live my life. But then, why do I feel so alone sometimes… so lost? I don’t even care that I just killed an innocent person, I needed to feed and they were there. It was an easy choice, too easy I suppose. But isn’t that the thrill of being a vampire? Taking what you want, anytime, anywhere and never thinking twice about who you hurt. What more could I want out of life? And yet, I wonder… is there something more? Am I missing a key piece, to this puzzle called life? Should I be afraid of who I have become? I guess only time will tell and until then, I know I will enjoy this deranged way of living. I can’t wait to meet my next victim. They always seem so surprised to see me, and I can literally hear their hearts beating right out of their chests before I go in for the kill. It’s always the same in every person I come across, and in an instant they are free from the agony of this terrible world; this sad, chaotic, frightful world. So I guess in a way, I am really just doing them a favor, and in return, I get to continue living an eternity of blood lusting bliss. I do feel some pity for the young ones that cross my path. But unfortunately for them, my instincts are purely animalistic and I have no conscience either way. I have hardly any recollection on how I ended up like this. It seems like a dream that happened long ago. I may never fully regain my memory of that particular day, but on occasion I do see glimpses of my past. The images I see are hazy at best, and feelings of emptiness flood my mind as I try to hold onto a particular memory when they do flash by. I always see the same image, a dark shadowy figure of a man coming towards me, and then in the very next instant, a bright light flashes all around me. Then there’s nothing… nothing at all.
Photo credit: bibleconversation.wordpress.com
*I know this is a horrible thing to say, but the thought did recently cross my mind after seeing some recent obituaries. Seriously… make sure you have a decent photo laying around that can be easily found. Just saying… If you gotta leave, at least go out looking good! 😉
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Photo credit: outofthisworldx.wordpress.com
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It was spring 2012, and my daughter Caitlyn (Kate) had just gotten back to our home in Wisconsin from her mission trip to India and Nepal. While in India, my daughter and her best friend AmyJane, both contracted an illness that dared to kill them both. Doctors thought for sure that Kate had malaria and they were doing all they could to make her well. At the same time, AmyJane was battling the same illness and was trying to recover at her home in Oregon. Both girls were so sick and it broke my heart to see them so ill. I felt completely helpless as to what to do. Finally after contact with the Center for Disease Control and many local doctors, it was determined that my daughter Kate had a rare type of food poisoning, which was resistant to the antibiotics that the doctors had been using. After the 4th round of antibiotics, my daughter Kate was finally made well. Soon after my daughter Kate was healed, we were relieved to hear that AmyJane had been cured as well.
We were excited and feeling blessed that the girls were finally going to be okay, and yet this was not the case. Yes my daughter Kate would be spared. However, by August 2012, after being cured from her illness, AmyJane (only 19 yrs. old) was brutally attacked and murdered at a motel where she had recently begun to work as a housekeeper. We were devastated when the news arrived and couldn’t fathom why God would take such a beautiful young girl who had only been seeking to do His will and live for Him.
A year later, another woman (Karen Lange), was targeted by the same man who had killed AmyJane. Karen was attacked in a similar way, and although she came close to death, she amazingly survived the attack and lived to tell her story. It was through her attack, that authorities were able to track down the man that had killed AmyJane. I was surprised when I heard Karen’s story in an NBC Dateline special. Karen’s reaction showed how God really does give us the ability to forgive, even in times when the act against us seems unforgivable. She is a true woman of faith and through her testimony, many have been blessed. Her story reminded me of Corrie Ten Boom and her courageous story of love and forgiveness despite the torture she faced during WWII.
There is always a lesson to be learned in every experience we have. Finding the light in a dark place can be so hard at times, but not impossible. There was a light in AmyJane that could not be extinguished and her memory lives on in this video that I wanted to share with all of you. Never stop for a moment to show your love for others, for in a single second, their life could be taken from this world. We love and miss you AmyJane… May your beautiful spirit live on, and may others always remember you as a rare and beautiful light who shared her compassion and love without hesitation. We will never forget you!
“I remember you so often even in the little things. I’ll feel the wind, step in the grass, or even just look at the stars and am reminded of you. Still to this day you are my inspiration. When I’m having a hard day, I just remind myself what you would say or do because not many things ever got to you. You were content in the hardest of situations. I know God placed you in my life for a reason. Even though your gone, your light still lives among so many people and keeps shinning hope for us all. Beloved friend you are so missed by many. This video is for all your friends and family so that they too can have the amazing memories that I have of you. I love you forever.” ♥ ~Kate Cook
Even though I’d had an early start, I was restless and eager to get to where I was headed. My mind was preoccupied with venturous thoughts and little did I know that my carefree attitude would soon lead to my demise. The drive was relaxing and gave me time to think about what it would be like when I finally got to my destination. These feelings of excitement left me giddy and it was with great anticipation that I drove onward in my quest for adventure.
After a quick stop, I was refreshed and ready to drive the last remaining distance. Once back on the highway, I became briefly flustered, forgetting which way I needed to go. Just as the thought crossed my mind, I passed an alternate highway on my left and wondered if I had just missed my turn.
Panic stricken, I looked into my rear-view mirror and watched the road to the left quickly disappear from view. Remembering that I had seen an exit to the right coming up ahead, I shifted my eyes to the front and began to slide over to the right lane to head for the exit. I suddenly realized that the road was now two lanes instead of three, and the lane I was trying to slide into had suddenly disappeared.
Panicked once again, I veered to the left to avoid the ditch that I was headed for. The sudden swerve left me facing oncoming traffic and after realizing my mistake, I pulled the steering wheel to the left in hopes of avoiding a collision.
Now in a tail spin, the velocity forced me back against my seat. The spinning continued and left the car moving closer and closer to the concrete barrier that now separated the highway. The car skidded towards the barrier faster and faster. The force thrust me against the driver’s side door and at that moment I knew that my life was over.
I thought of my family and how I would never get to see them again; never say goodbye… I thought even if I did make it, I would surely be battered and broken beyond repair. The impact hit with tremendous force and I felt as if I were suffocating. The world became pitch black in that moment. A heaviness engulfed my entire body and I couldn’t move. I didn’t feel any pain, but felt as if I had been buried alive.
I continued to breathe, but the breath was not my own. I felt as if I needed to open my eyes. I needed to awaken and wanted so badly to be able to speak. I had a strong will and desire to break free of whatever constrained me. Even with this overwhelming desire, I couldn’t make my body do what it asked. My chest grew heavier, more constricted. The weight of a thousand bricks was surely upon me and still my chest rose in breath, but no breath did I take. I was frightened by the darkness that I couldn’t escape. Lost in a world that was neither here nor there. Surely this couldn’t be death… or could it?