Tag: despair

Never let them go…

~ ~M ~ 2 Comments

“There are a rare few who have the ability to heal our scars.  I find myself holding on tight whenever I’m lucky enough to find one.”  ~M

“Medicine”

You’re my bulletproof vest when it’s getting dangerous
Always make me feel blessed, you’re my guardian angel
You are, you are, you are
Yeah, you are, you are, you are

You put your body on mine when they’re taking aim
You’re the pin in my heart, it’s a hand grenade
You are, you are, you are
The cure for all my scars

I feel like you
Could save me now
When I’m suicidal
Don’t let me spiral

You make my heart beat faster than adrenaline
You kiss away the pain of all the hell I’m in
You’re gonna make me better than I’ve ever been
‘Cause you’re my medicine, you’re my medicine

You make my heart beat faster than adrenaline
You take the pain whenever I’m in hell again
I know you’ll make me better than I’ve ever been
‘Cause you’re my medicine, yeah, you’re my medicine

You always say we should move to LA (move to LA), yeah
I’ll buy you a plane and I’ll fly you away (fly you away)
You are my heroine, you’re my escape
Everything gonna be Gucci today

I feel like you
Could save me now
I know I hurt you
I don’t deserve you, no no

You make my heart beat faster than adrenaline
You kiss away the pain of all the hell I’m in
You’re gonna make me better than I’ve ever been
‘Cause you’re my medicine, you’re my medicine

You make my heart beat faster than adrenaline
You take the pain whenever I’m in hell again
I know you’ll make me better than I’ve ever been
‘Cause you’re my medicine, yeah, you’re my medicine

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
‘Cause you’re my medicine
Yeah, yeah, whoa oh

I love the way you look in that Balenciaga
One sip of you, I’m hooked, I wanna hit it harder
No drug could feel this good, now I’m addicted to you, ooh
(Yeah)

You make my heart beat faster than adrenaline
You kiss away the pain of all the hell I’m in
You’re gonna make me better than I’ve ever been
‘Cause you’re my medicine, you’re my medicine

You make my heart beat faster than adrenaline
You take the pain whenever I’m in hell again
I know you make me better than I’ve ever been
‘Cause you’re my medicine, yeah, you’re my medicine

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
‘Cause you’re my medicine
Yeah, yeah, whoa oh
 
~James Arthur
 

Photo credit: https://pixabay.com/photos/people-holding-hands-sunset-man-2561053/

For them…

~ ~M ~ 15 Comments

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The sudden silence is what gets to me most, every time he leaves.  Then my chest starts to tighten, and the tears begin to well up, and at that point, I know I’m done for.  There’s no holding back the flood of emotions no matter how hard I try.  I bury my face in my hands, trying so hard to hide the pain that’s gushing out through every inch of my being.

I can’t let anyone know how much this hurts, how lost I am, how much I don’t even want to do life anymore because I’m always feeling so alone.  Five minutes have passed, and I’m wiping the evidence away.  Putting on my brave soldier face once more, shrugging my shoulders and getting a grip just the way I’ve been taught.  I cannot cry, I can’t let anyone know that I’m weak, and I can’t ever confess to anyone that sometimes I’d rather be six feet under than endure another day alone.

There are little people counting on me, babies that need protecting, loved, and cared for.  And this is why I bury all of it, deep inside where nobody can see. If anyone ever found out what I was really thinking, what would they do?  What would they say?  So I fight through it, the let downs, the misery, the feelings of loneliness and despair.  And I put on a happy face because that makes everyone else feel better when I do that.  They need me to be happy, and I can’t let them down.  I’ve got to hold it together, for them…

 

Justin Bieber – Purpose

~ ~M ~ Leave a comment

 

Feeling like I’m breathing my last breath
Feeling like I’m walking my last steps
Look at all of these tears I’ve wept
Look at all the promises that I’ve kept

I put my all into your hands
Here’s my soul to keep
I let you in with all that I can
You’re not hard to reach

And you bless me with the best gift
That I’ve ever known
You give me purpose
Yeah, you’ve given me purpose

Thinking my journey’s come to an end
Sending out a farewell to my friends, for inner peace
Ask you to forgive me for my sins, oh would you please?
I’m more than grateful for the time we spent, my spirit’s at ease

I put my heart into your hands
Learn the lessons you teach
No matter when, wherever I am
You’re not hard to reach

And you’ve given me the best gift
That I’ve ever known
You give me purpose everyday
You give me purpose in every way

Oh, you are my everything
Oh, you are my everything

[Spoken:]
I don’t know if this is wrong, because someone else is telling me that it’s wrong. But I feel this so let me just like try my best not to let this happen again. We weren’t necessarily put in the best position to make the best decisions

You can’t be hard on yourself for it, these are the cards you were given so you have to understand that’s not who you are. You know you’re trying to be the best you can be, but that’s all you can do. If you don’t give it all you got, you’re only cheating yourself give it all you got but if it ends up happening, it ends up happening

That’s what happening with me, it’s like “God, I’m giving it all I’ve got, sometimes I’m weak and I’m going to do it.” And it’s like I’m not giving myself grace, I’m just like understanding that’s how it is