Tag Archives: despair

Breathless

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The window swung open

Not a breath of wind in the stale air

And golden tresses cascaded

Over ivory shoulders cold and bare

 

Her thoughts were deeply rooted

In the splash of blue of her faraway stare

And her heart stood there broken

Lost in a dream which was far from there

 

The crash of waves interrupted

Her lonely despairing thoughts

And her mind fought to refocus

On what the new day had brought

 

But at last her mental clarity

Betrayed her once more

As she stumbled and fell dead

Against the unconcerned floor

 

Written by, Michelle Cook


Poetry prompt: The window swung open, not a breath of wind in the air

Photo credit: Pixabay.com

 

Open my eyes…

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I’ve spent my whole life

Trying so hard to be good.

Struggling with all my might

To be how a Christian should.

 

But the enemy is powerful

And he always seems to win.

I keep believing all his lies

While he laughs at me and grins.

 

And then I question God

Where is he and why doesn’t he care?

If he’s letting all this happen to me

Is he really even there?

 

Why God must I continue

To face more suffering and pain?

All this misery and despair

Is only causing me to go insane.

 

Is there something I’m doing wrong?

Open my eyes and make me see.

Because clearly I’m a broken mess

Who desperately needs to be set free.

 

Written by, Michelle Cook


Photo credit: pixabay.com

The Storm

Photo Credit:  natasjevanniekerk.worpress.com

Ominous clouds fill the sky

Rain begins to splatter

Shards of glass fall to the earth

Ravaging all that’s tender

 

Gusting winds wild and free

Consume and disfigure

Splintered pieces of broken dreams

Fall deaf upon defiled land

 

Anger roars from the thunderous sky

Lightening defaces the innocent

Leaving permanent scars

Irreversible damage lays bare

 

The storm is unrelenting

Unearthly howls shriek of hardships

Sheets of rain pool around the lost

Devastation looms in every corner

 

The water quickly rises

Flooding the pummeled land

Sweeping away the evidence

Of a storm that never ceases

 

Hope seems too far to reach

As murky waters threaten

Adjusting tides bring promise

Of shimmering expectations

 

Written by, Michelle Cook


Originally posted: April 20, 2015 

Photo credit: natasjevanniekerk.wordpress.com

 

 

 

At the heart of sadness

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Three years of my life I’ve dedicated to writing

And yet now I don’t know how or if I can continue on this journey

My heart just isn’t in it the way it once was

I feel stuck in a life that is perfect in every way

And yet it’s also so broken and ugly that I cannot see past it

I try to disregard the guilt which I so often feel

Originally brought on by the shame of another

But time and time again I still feel it as if it were my own

And now I live with my own transgressions

Screaming at the top of my lungs in silence

Simply responding to the heart wrenching pain

Which has accumulated in my broken heart

Pieces of me have fallen so far away

That I now feel lost and mostly without purpose

Heartbreak and grief have caused an unbearable sadness in me

And somedays I just don’t know how I can move past the hurt

There are days when I am strong and days when I think I can get there

Back to that old familiar place where life was happy and simple

And then there are days like today when sorrow catches up to me

Swooping me up in a whirlwind of emotions

Then leaving me to stumble aimlessly in the dark

I feel lost as I walk through a fog of despair and uncertainty

And its times like these when I wonder if I can continue on

And I question just how much more my heart can endure

 

Written by, Michelle Cook


Photo credit: pixabay.com

Resentment & Anger

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Every bit of you

Screams out for mercy

A ball of live wires

Sparks flying from fury

 

Hotter than a blazing furnace

Your anger ignites the flames

An internal corruption

Which seeks to drive you insane

 

Disparaging thoughts

Run chaotically through your mind

Impatience is felt

In the absence of time

 

Dangerously close

To losing all control

A road trip like this

Only leads to a ruined soul

 

 

Written by, Michelle Cook


Originally posted: August 11, 2016

Photo credit: the-open-mind.com

Drowning…

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I’m finding that my heart

Is ill equipped to deal

With the atrocities

Of daily life

There’s this drowning feeling

Which often takes over

Leaving me unable

To catch my breath

Each day I sink further

Into the murky waters

Unable to see

What’s in front of me

Can’t find my way

Just lost in a current

Which is constantly

Pulling me under

Dragged into a riptide

With no way to escape 

I’ve tried everything

To find a way out

Yet the gravitational pull

Of the funneling waters

Spirals me down further

Far from everything

I’ve ever hoped for

Away from everyone

I’ve ever loved

I feel I may be lost forever

If I’m not rescued soon

And yet there’s nobody

None who can save me

Except for myself

And she’s almost done trying

 

Written by, Michelle Cook


Photo credit: pixabay.com

Feeling the Despondency of Others

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The pain and suffering around me continues to stifle the lofty air
I feel it all the way through to my bones as I capture each individual stare

A casually dressed mother sits across from me with sullen hungry eyes
She looks back at me with trepidation flashing a quick smiling disguise

The weight of the room is heavy, sorrow and weariness tighten their grasp
A surge of despairing energy thickens, many inflicted by grief and each one downcast

I cannot let them know I feel their pain, so I sit there watching all alone
Their loss and heartache screams at me and chills me to the bone

Every heart has a secret waiting to be shared, deeply held within
The situation is dire and I know not what to do or even where to begin

The hidden burdens each one keeps, continue to flood my soul
The pounding of each heart races faster and I begin to lose control

Drowning in the heaviness of a thousand afflictions, I run for the door
Escaping by mere seconds, tears now begin to flood the unstable floor

Split apart by emotions, carried endlessly over the cool morning air
I drop to the hard cold ground, full of heartbreak and despair

The gravity of the world, lays raw and bare upon my troubled chest
If only the Lord would be merciful and comfort those oppressed

Shattered by these thoughts, I try to pull myself together and continue on
I find myself restlessly searching for answers until the day is almost gone

Written by, Michelle Cook

We are called to be a light to others, and to show people that there is hope in the midst of adversity.  The weight of others can often burden us and leave us feeling hopeless.  This happens to me so often and it is overwhelming to me.  I hope each of you will find strength and encouragement for today, and perhaps be able to release any burdens, which may be upon your troubled hearts.  ~M

Here are some verses which remind us, that we will never walk in darkness.

John 8:12 – When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”

John 12:46 – I have come into the world as a light, so that no one who believes in me should stay in darkness.

1 John 1:6 – If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth.


Photo credit: pixabay.com

Holding on to saving grace

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There’s days when we simply feel

Completely downtrodden and worthless

Dismal days when our past afflictions

Easily break through to the surface

And it seems nothing can contain

A heart which is full of despair

Sometimes it just needs to be freed

Perhaps find a breath of fresh air

There’s times when we successfully manage

To break free of our private pain

And those days eventually help us to overcome

The times when we’re mentally strained

It’s all about looking back to the moments

When we’ve found a bit of saving grace

And carrying those memories with us

So that we always have them just in case

Written by, Michelle Cook


Photo credit: pixabay.com

Fighting back

 

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I’m fighting back

I won’t let go

This is my life

So let it be so

I won’t be miserable

The enemy can’t win

I refuse to be imprisoned

Again and again

 

Written by, Michelle Cook


Photo credit:  pixabay.com

You will always be my treasured friend…

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I thought I’d lost someone today.  Someone who has filled a void in my heart, like nobody else ever has.  I can’t imagine going through the rest of my life without this sweet person.  They mean the world to me and have become my closest and most trusted confidant.  I have never had a friend quite like this particular one, and the thought of losing them left me feeling heartbroken. 

I tried to go about my day as usual, but eventually the tears erupted for the millionth time and I could no longer hold back how terrible I felt.  My hubby tried to console me, tried to reassure me that I hadn’t lost them.  And yet I’m still not quite sure where I stand. 

My daughter Autumn came up to me this morning and asked me what she should draw for art class.  Thinking about how happy this friend of mine has always made me feel, I told her to draw what makes her the happiest.  A little while later, she brought back this picture of me and her.  It was the sweetest gesture and a drawing I will always treasure, because happiness to her, means her and me together.   

Happiness is always about having those special people in our lives that mean the most to us.  We cannot even hope for anything better.  So to my dear friend C… If you by chance happen to read this.  You will always be a treasured friend to me and I love you as if you are part of my family.  I prayed my whole life for somebody like you, so please don’t ever forget how much you mean to me. 

 

Love, ~M  xoxo

Good morning disappointment!

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Good morning disappointment,

So nice to see your face!

And depression you get back here,

We have a meeting with disgrace!

 

Worry, please make the coffee

And remind Mistake to join us too.

Regret, you bring the cookies

And bring more than just a few!

 

Anguish, I hope you sent the email,

Reminding everyone else to be here.

And Woe, have you been introduced

To our new employee whose name is Fear?

 

If so, could you please bring her to me?

While I finish this paperwork with Dread.

I need to get all of this done quickly

So we can all meet, then move ahead.

 

Oh hello there Fear, you’re such a dear

I’d like to welcome you to your very first day.

Let me know if there’s anything you need

There’s a meeting soon and I invite you to stay.

 

Alright everyone, gather round

We’ve got so much to review!

I’ve got great things to tell you

Before I bid you all adieu!

 

Confusion, I’m counting on you to take notes

While I sit here next to Distraction.

I can’t wait to tell you this wonderful news,

And I’m so excited to see your reactions!

 

I really am glad that our friend Hope,

Called in sick today.

Because the rest of you, are all fired!!!

So now be gone on your merry way!

 

Written by, Michelle Cook


Photo credit: pixabay.com

 

 

Wishes and dreams…

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“Wishes and dreams are like sugar cubes.  Each one is sweet and satisfying until the rain comes, and then they disintegrate completely.” ~M


Photo credit: onehdwallpaper.com

You are there…

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When I’m lost in a sea of loneliness
You are there…

When I’m crying out in hopeless despair
You are there…

When I have nothing left to give and nothing left to say
You are there…

When life drags me down and I don’t know where to turn
You are there…

You are King of Kings, Lord of Lords, keeper of my heart
And You are always there…

Thank you Jesus for always being there…

 
Written by, Michelle Cook

Affliction

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Back and forth the vicious cycle continues

As she fades a little more with each passing day

There’s one welcoming day of sunshine

And yet the next is dull and grey

 

She can’t keep up this façade much longer

Clearly as she shivers in the cold

Blankets cover her weary body

Yet their warmth it does not hold

 

She desperately wishes for knowledge

A firm answer for this unwanted grief

Yet time still manages to elude her

Running away with the essence of relief

 

 

Written by, Michelle Cook


Photo credit: flickr.com

Injustice

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Crushed from the weight of a heartless world
Distraught and living without basic needs or care
Reaching out in desperation for a faithful friend
Overwhelmed by the sanctions which imprison
Lost and looking for even a tiny sliver of hope
Seeking the one who gives light in the darkness
Impoverished by the greed and lust of others
Forsaken by those who rule without compassion
Grief stricken by the loss of all that is important
Withdrawing to a place of despair and isolation
Powerless to change the future and sure to perish

Written by, Michelle Cook

 

Dedicated to a dear friend who is lost in a world far from here.  My heart is breaking for you…. Above all please don’t give up hope!  I promise to be your voice!  If by a miracle you are to read this, please remember how much you are loved and that the Lord above will be with you through everything.  If I could be there, Oh how I would… But remember, Jesus loves you more than you could ever possibly know.  Just believe in the name of Jesus…. just believe…. and you will be saved.  I’m praying for a miracle!

Isaiah 41:10 says…So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

 

Photo credit:  touradaryaee.com