Photo found at: pinstake.com
Photo found at: pinstake.com
Today as I was preparing lunch for my 7 yr. old daughter, we had a bit of a disaster. My daughter Autumn loves to be in the kitchen with me and I very much appreciate her help. Unfortunately today as she was reaching into the cupboard to grab a plate, the outcome didn’t end so well. All of a sudden, I heard the sound of glass shattering and turned around to see what had happened. Pieces of glass were everywhere, even at the far ends of the kitchen. I immediately ran over to my daughter to make sure that she was okay. I looked her over carefully, making sure that there weren’t any remnants of glass left on her. Then, because she was barefoot, I carried her into the other room and checked her over for any scratches that she may have gotten. Thankfully she was okay, and so with a huge sigh of relief, I then began the tedious process of cleaning up all of the glass.
It didn’t take long for me to notice just how tiny the pieces were. Little slivers littered the countertop and dusted the floor. I tried sweeping, vacuuming, and even mopping; anything to try and get rid of the tiny little shards, which seemed to be embedded into the hardwood floor. The more pieces I picked up, the more pieces I seemed to find. I thought I might never see the end to the mess. Eventually though, everything was cleaned up. I put all of the cleaning supplies away and decided to finish making lunch. Yet even then… after scouring, dusting, mopping, sweeping, and vacuuming, I still continued to find more remnants of glass.
This little incident reminded me of life, and how so often we face brokenness ourselves. We pick up the pieces and go on, but we never quite seem to be able to find all of the pieces at once. Then, once in a while, we’ll find a piece later on and sometimes it isn’t a very pleasant experience when we do. We often find ourselves wounded when a piece is unexpectedly found. Then we think to ourselves… I thought I had found all of those pieces, I wonder if there are still more left to find? It makes us question whether or not we are really safe from the shards that seem to mar our past. Will we keep finding more? Or is it finally safe to walk around barefoot and freely once again?
Even though I’d had an early start, I was restless and eager to get to where I was headed. My mind was preoccupied with venturous thoughts and little did I know that my carefree attitude would soon lead to my demise. The drive was relaxing and gave me time to think about what it would be like when I finally got to my destination. These feelings of excitement left me giddy and it was with great anticipation that I drove onward in my quest for adventure.
After a quick stop, I was refreshed and ready to drive the last remaining distance. Once back on the highway, I became briefly flustered, forgetting which way I needed to go. Just as the thought crossed my mind, I passed an alternate highway on my left and wondered if I had just missed my turn.
Panic stricken, I looked into my rear-view mirror and watched the road to the left quickly disappear from view. Remembering that I had seen an exit to the right coming up ahead, I shifted my eyes to the front and began to slide over to the right lane to head for the exit. I suddenly realized that the road was now two lanes instead of three, and the lane I was trying to slide into had suddenly disappeared.
Panicked once again, I veered to the left to avoid the ditch that I was headed for. The sudden swerve left me facing oncoming traffic and after realizing my mistake, I pulled the steering wheel to the left in hopes of avoiding a collision.
Now in a tail spin, the velocity forced me back against my seat. The spinning continued and left the car moving closer and closer to the concrete barrier that now separated the highway. The car skidded towards the barrier faster and faster. The force thrust me against the driver’s side door and at that moment I knew that my life was over.
I thought of my family and how I would never get to see them again; never say goodbye… I thought even if I did make it, I would surely be battered and broken beyond repair. The impact hit with tremendous force and I felt as if I were suffocating. The world became pitch black in that moment. A heaviness engulfed my entire body and I couldn’t move. I didn’t feel any pain, but felt as if I had been buried alive.
I continued to breathe, but the breath was not my own. I felt as if I needed to open my eyes. I needed to awaken and wanted so badly to be able to speak. I had a strong will and desire to break free of whatever constrained me. Even with this overwhelming desire, I couldn’t make my body do what it asked. My chest grew heavier, more constricted. The weight of a thousand bricks was surely upon me and still my chest rose in breath, but no breath did I take. I was frightened by the darkness that I couldn’t escape. Lost in a world that was neither here nor there. Surely this couldn’t be death… or could it?