“If we could change our past, we would have to give up our future.” ~M
Photo credit: pixabay.com
Photo credit: pixabay.com
It was the year 2117, and a brand new shiny city had been built in the middle of the rain forest. Strangely enough, there were hardly any trees left; just a few scattered vines growing haphazardly on some of the buildings. The Amazon River wound its way through the spacious city and man-made islands could be seen throughout. Streets were a thing of the past and boats and airplanes were too. Those who were mentally strong enough, could travel instantaneously through mind control. Others who lacked this ability, were at the mercy of those who could.
Most of the buildings sat atop wide pedestals and were sporadically spaced throughout the city. Some were shaped like huge cigars standing on end, while others were shaped like flying saucers atop narrower single columned structures. There were only a few ordinary looking buildings; and even those were all elevated off the ground. A maze of passageways existed underneath the crowded city. Vines crept and clung to the undersides of the buildings and the majority of the passages were dark and vacant.
Most people walked along netted bridges, which had been built high above the city. These bridges seemed to connect most of the buildings together, so that people never really had to set foot on the ground. The majority of people were very free with their bodies. Little clothing was worn and most of the people seemed intoxicated and grungy looking. There were quite a few structures built of woven bamboo. These places were used mainly by the lower class citizens. Many of the buildings did not even have rooftops, and were instead completely open to the elements. The upper class citizens were mostly found in the taller buildings; which were all constructed of polished metal.
In the heart of the city, was a large open pavilion; and the view from this vantage point was breathtaking. The pavilion was divided into sections by bamboo woven walls. Each separate area held feasting tables, which ran the length of the open rooms. The rooms were crowded and extra seats were nonexistent. Food was not available for purchase; instead, neon-colored alcoholic beverages were served in shot glasses. These colored concoctions littered the tables from one end to the next.
The rooms were filled with people, who appeared expressionless and incoherent. One woman even had her newborn baby lying in front of her on the table. The baby was malnourished and naked; untouched and unloved, with its umbilical cord still attached. One of the woman’s breasts, rested along the edge of the table. Allowing her baby to suckle while she proceeded to get wasted. A sign above her read “Viewer Discretion Advised.”
Written by, Michelle Cook
Based on a dream… dreamt on February 2, 2017.
For the last two years now, I have been very unsure about the future of my marriage. The past sort of caught up with my husband and the present sort of caught up with me. Needless to say, we were both at fault in different ways. About four months ago, I had finally gotten to the point where I decided I was tired of trying. In my mind, I just sort of gave up and decided it was time to figure out plan B. I started picturing my life without him. Wondering what I would do apart from him and where I would go. We still have two children at home, so that was of course another concern of mine. What would happen to them if we split up, how would we work it all out? And yet I could never actually see us getting to the point of divorce. I really couldn’t even fathom the idea of such a drastic decision.
After admitting to my husband that I didn’t think I could continue on the way things were, he in turn seemed to agree. And yet divorce was the furthest thing from his mind. His immediate response was to somehow fix what was broken in our marriage and strengthen the parts which looked salvageable. For four months now, he has been trying very hard to turn things around. I have to admit, I haven’t made things easy. I have fought him every bit of the way, by not really believing any of what he’s been saying. After years of empty promises, I didn’t want to allow myself to be tricked again.
His first response was to begin by writing me poetry; which is something he had never done in his entire life. I remember reading the words he wrote during those first few months and thinking to myself… “He can’t really mean any of this.” I thought… “This is just another one of his schemes to make me believe him, but it’s not going to last.” Over the years he would say he would try harder, but there was never any long lasting changes to support his efforts. It was mostly just cheap talk and I knew I didn’t want to fall for that again. I was finally ready to move on and I didn’t want to get sucked back into a life of false hopes.
Well it’s been four months now since he’s started blogging. And I think the turning point for me was when he wrote this… Heart of Sadness. Since then, I have begun to believe that he is truly being sincere. He finally seems to understand and acknowledge how I’ve been feeling. We tell each other everything, but I had often wondered if he was really hearing me. I wasn’t sure if he understood that I didn’t feel the same kind of love for him anymore. I wondered if he could live with that fact, or if it would ultimately destroy our marriage. Yet the more we talked, the more I knew he understood, and he told me very sweetly that he just wanted me to be happy.
I suppose because he isn’t demanding my love, I am slowly finding my way back to him. We have been making immense progress, and I am finally accepting that he really is changing for the better. I’m starting to believe him when he tells me he loves me, and I’m hopeful once more that we can make our marriage work. We will be celebrating our 23rd wedding anniversary on the 5th of February and I’m excited to get away for a few days and just have some time alone with him. We’ve literally spent half our lives together now, and both of us know that we can’t just throw all of that away. I honestly just can’t picture my life without him, and I hope I never can.
So to my husband… aka, SW. I have hope that we will make it, TTF…… ❤️ Love always, ~Me
Now that you’re all grown-up, tell me… What did you want to be when you were younger and did you eventually achieve your goal?
My parents told me that I wanted to be a singer and dancer when I grew up, although I have no recollection of ever saying such a thing. I only remember thinking that I wanted to be a marine biologist. And the funny thing is, I really have no idea what exactly a marine biologist does. So if you’re a marine biologist… do share!
After graduating high school, I enlisted in the Army, and worked as an Intelligence Analyst for the next 5 years. Once my enlistment was up, I decided it was time for a change. I still had an interest in the science field, and so I pursued a degree in biotechnology. I ended up working at a biotech company and stayed there for 7 years. So I guess in a way, my dream of being in a science type field, did eventually come true.
The thought of being a singer or a dancer scares me to death, so I have no idea why I would have said such a thing. I suppose this just shows how much we really do change over time. Our ideas about what we should do with our lives, fluctuates all the time, and it can be frustrating when certain things we thought we should do, don’t turn out the way we had hoped.
Anyway, this was just something I was thinking about today. Leave me a comment and tell me what you wanted to be when you grew up, and if you haven’t grown up yet, what do you still hope to become?
Today I was reading over some of my favorite passages in scripture and came across Paul’s reminder; “Forget what lies behind and reach forward to what lies ahead.” These scripture verses in Philippians 3:12-16, really spoke to me today and gave me the encouraging words I needed. I hope by reading these words, you will be encouraged as well.
I also came across a related devotional over at: The Hill House
The devotional can be found here – Philippians 3:12-16 devotional
12 Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on [a]so that I may lay hold of that [b]for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus. 13 Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. 15 Let us therefore, as many as are [c]perfect, have this attitude; and if in anything you have a different attitude, God will reveal that also to you; 16 however, let us keep [d]living by that same standard to which we have attained.
Hope everyone has a blessed Sunday! ~M
Photo found at: pinterest.com
Quoted scripture found at: BibleGateway