He really does…

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“He bears my burdens so much better than me.”  ~M


Photo credit: Pixabay.com

The ultimate fantasy…

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“We tend to lose ourselves within the pages of our own stories, but to become lost in another person’s words; seems the ultimate fantasy for many writers.” ~M


Photo credit: pixabay.com

Betrayed – Part 6

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The continuing story… Part 5 can be found here.

Scarlett awoke the next morning, feeling light-headed and nauseous.  After attempting to sit up, a searing pain pierced her right temple and then something warm began to trickle down the side of her face.  After feeling around, she noticed a fairly sizeable gash just above her right eyebrow.  The sight of blood always left her unsteady and this time was no exception.  Succumbing to the overwhelming dizziness, she laid back down on the cool mossy floor; trying to remember where she was and how she had gotten there.  As she looked around, everything seemed blurry and the sounds of the forest echoed unnaturally.  A passing cloud made room for an unexpected ray of light and Scarlett caught a glimpse of something shiny.  She reached up with bloodied hands and found an oval shaped locket resting against her chest.  The gold hinged covering was now partially broken off and inside she could see the image of a very handsome young man.  She began to wonder who he was, when suddenly another sharp pain shot through her head.  Once the throbbing began to subside, she looked at the locket once more.  She couldn’t take her eyes off the man in the photograph.  There was something eerily familiar about him and yet she couldn’t seem to remember him at all.

To be continued…


Photo credit: myfacebookdp.blogspot.com

Betrayed – Part 3

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The continuing story…  Part 2 can be found, here.

After exploring the tide pools in hopes of finding something edible, Scarlett noticed a large object floating in an inlet not too far from where she was.  She walked cautiously at first, unable to determine what the strange looking object could be.  Yet as she got closer, she realized exactly what it was.  It turned out to be her very own wooden trunk, the one she had stowed away aboard the ship, with all of the things she had brought with her from London.  She assumed Darius must have thrown it over the deck, right after throwing her in; and thankfully so.  She hadn’t been able to determine what it was at first since the entire chest was covered in a bunch of rapidly decaying seaweed.  After getting over the initial thrill of seeing her possessions lying right in front of her.  She soon realized that prying open the enormous chest would be no easy task.  The lock on the front was made of finely crafted silver and bore the emblem of her family crest.  The key was obviously long gone now, as Scarlett had always carried it with her in a little satchel which she kept tied to her wrist.  And after looking down at her hand, she realized it must have fallen off in her frantic pursuit to save herself from drowning.  She knew she had to find a way to open the chest, as it was really was her only hope of survival.  Yet without the key, she felt her one beacon of hope was quickly fading.

To be continued… Part 4 can be found here.


Photo credit: myfacebookdp.blogspot.com

Saying goodbye…

This is a really tough day for me and I hardly know where to begin.  I have been struggling with so many issues over the past couple of years and last night they all came crashing down on me.  Right now, I feel hopeless, lost, and completely out of sorts.  I have been doing everything in my own power, trying to hold on to the tiniest bit of hope, and yet that last bit of hope finally escaped my grip last night and I wanted to completely give up.

I wanted to give up everything and I wanted to forget everyone.  As the night progressed, I finally just spilled everything I had been holding onto for so long.  All the pain that’s been bottled up inside of me, all the disappointment, all the regrets.  All of it came out and my heart felt like it shattered into a million pieces.

Still today, there does not seem to be any relief after all that was discussed.  Everything is still a complete mess and I can’t imagine how any of it will ever be resolved.  The hurts run too deep, the pain seems to be more than I can bear, and I don’t feel like I will ever recover.  I have alienated too many people from my life, tried to forget everyone and everything for so long now.   And because of it, I feel like I am left with this huge hole in my heart.

In the process of trying to forget everyone, I seem to have forgotten who I am too.  I feel as if I can’t change any of this and cannot seem to mend what’s been broken.  I have allowed things to go too far, to get too out of control and my health is declining as well, which I know is completely my fault.

I have debated for months now as to what I should do, and after last night and just how close I was to giving up completely, I feel like I need a break to figure things out.  As hard as this is, I have decided to give up blogging.  I am not sure if this will be permanent or temporary, my brain can’t think that far ahead.  But for now, I just need to get my head and my heart in sync with one another and figure things out.

I am closing comments on my blog and may be deleting my social media accounts as well.  I will leave my blog up for now, but may remove it in the future.  I wish the best to all of you and I hope that you will be happy in your lives and always put God first.  Without Him we are nothing, and you will go down this barren road like I am right now if you don’t put your hope and trust in Him alone.

Love you all so much and I will really miss you.  ~M  xo

Red – So Far Away

Let these words touch your heart the way that they’ve touched mine.  He is always there, even when we feel so very far away. ~M

 

“So Far Away”

I am right here with you
I couldn’t be more close
Pretending that I’m in this moment,
When I’m only a ghost

I listen to the words you’re saying
Words I’m fighting to believe
It’s like I’m living from a distance
When you’re out of reach

I wanna feel it,
When I mean it,
When I say it,
Can you hear me at all?

And I feel so far away, far away from everything
Outside wondering when I got lost
I threw my arms up in the air, why do I disappear
How can your love be so close
When I’m so far away?

Remember when you found me drowning
You pulled me from the deepest end
I promised that I’ll never leave you
Now I’m drowning again

It’s killing me with every breath
Witnessing the life I lived
Only you know who I am
I’m reaching out my hand

I wanna feel it,
When I mean it,
When I say it,
Can you hear me at all?

And I feel so far away, far away from everything
Outside wondering when I got lost
I threw my arms up in the air, why do I disappear?
How can your love be so close,
When I’m so far away?

I’m so far away [x5]
Yeeeah yeeeeah

And I don’t wanna waste time
Living a half-life
Are you listening?
Now give it back to me!
I remember everything
The way it used to be.
Yeah give it back to me
Yeah give it back to me
I hear your voice
But inside I’m lost.

And I feel so far away, far away from everything
Outside wondering when I got lost
I threw my arms up in the air, why do I disappear
How can your love be so close,
When I’m so far away?

I’m so far away
I’m so far away