Tag: motivation

Why am I so stubborn?

~ ~M

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At the beginning of this year, I finally decided that I couldn’t keep going like I was, and so I asked my doctor to put me on anti-depressants.  I’d gone all 46 years of my life without them and felt weak for having to ask for them.  I have always tried to do everything on my own, and even to this day, I hate asking for help.  My anger is what usually fuels my motivation when I’m left having to do something that seems overwhelmingly hard.  And rather than ask for help, I usually just use all that built up negative energy and say a slew of cuss words to complete those difficult tasks.

I think this incessant need to do everything on my own, comes from the way I was raised.  I was always made to feel guilty when asking for anything as a child.  I would get reprimanded when even asking for the simplest of things.  And so I learned how to do most everything on my own.  This way of being raised had its benefits in many ways.  I think I am a much more self-sufficient person because of it and I never give up on anything.

I think if I had to choose one word to describe me, it would be “determined.”  But sometimes, I feel like I just want someone else to take care of me for a change.  I would love to have someone there to help me, without me even having to ask.  To say to me, “That’s enough; you’ve done plenty; let me help you.”  And I want to feel like I can say yes to that, and accept their help.

I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to change.  I’m getting older and more set in my ways.  I’m just plain stubborn most of the time, and my girls would agree.  They see how irritated I get and how I try not to ask for help.  It usually takes breaking something, for me to finally give in and let them help me.  Usually, it’s me that gets broken because of the stupid things I try to do without help.  And of course, it doesn’t seem to stop me the very next time, from repeating the same act of stupidity.  I guess that’s what stubborn people do.  We’re a glutton for punishment.

I just ended the anti-depressants yesterday.  They seemed to help at first, but then after several weeks, I started feeling anxious all the time, extremely restless, and shaky.  My doctor slowly decreased my dose over the last week, and I do feel more like my old self again.  I have mixed emotions though.  I really did feel better for about the first three weeks, and I’m trying to figure out why I started to feel so bad the longer that I took them.

I still feel like I need to do something to control what I believe to be depression, but I’m not sure what to do to help myself.  I think journaling is the best thing that I can continue to do for now.  At least until I find a better way to help myself.  I’d love to have someone to talk to.  Everyone always talks about having a therapist, but I have never had one.  I suppose that’s a luxury that I will never have.  If my insurance covered that sort of thing, I would see a therapist in a heartbeat, but unfortunately, it doesn’t, and so I have to keep on sorting things out for myself.  Anyway, I feel like I’m starting to ramble, so I’ll end this for today.  Thanks for reading.  ~M

Live…

~ ~M ~ 6 Comments

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“Live for the journey, not the ending.”  ~M

Photo credit: Pixabay.com

February 2019 Writing Prompts

~ ~M ~ 243 Comments

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Good morning everyone,

Here’s another month of inspiration and hopefully it gets you through this cold spell.  And if you’re living in Australia… Wow!  122°F in some places!  Well, I just hope it cools off for all of you soon, cause that’s got to be brutal.  Anyway, here’s the list for this month, enjoy!

  1. Circle in the sky
  2. Yorkshire pudding people
  3. The edge of forever
  4. In the midst of sadness and despair
  5. Blue jean babies
  6. Misty morning melancholy
  7. Splitting threads
  8. Magenta moments
  9. Pixilated paintings
  10. Billowy blobs and booby traps
  11. Macaroni madness
  12. Smuggling, snuggling, or struggling?
  13. Peach coffee and hazelnut tea
  14. Elevator love
  15. Loose laces and tight triumphs
  16. Hold your hankering horses
  17. Tassel filled follies
  18. The order of things unseen
  19. Matches and marbles
  20. Jellied geniuses
  21. Ragamuffin remembrances
  22. Simpleminded twists
  23. Deviant daughters
  24. Hippopotamus expectations
  25. Juggling Julie
  26. Mashed tator’s and creamed corn cake
  27. A gambler and a thief
  28. Evidence of greatness

 

If you’re new to prompt writing, and don’t really understand how to use the prompts, please consider the following writing exercise.

Settle into your favorite place in the house with a hot drink to warm your waking bones.  Once you’ve warmed up a bit; grab your journal, a trusty pen, and a timer.  Then, set your timer for ten minutes and begin writing about one of the prompts.  Don’t worry about spelling, punctuation, neatness, or anything like that; just write!  Write about anything and everything that comes to your mind, and don’t stop until the ten minutes are up.

I often find myself writing short stories or poems during those ten minutes, but you can write about anything you like.  And don’t be alarmed if what you’ve written doesn’t quite make sense.  The whole idea behind doing this exercise is to get your mind ready and working so that you can begin your day.  Just think of it as exercise for your brain, and once you’ve done your ten minutes of writing, you’ll feel more prepared to tackle the rest of your day.

As always, I will be writing and posting over on my other blog, which can be found here. So please come visit me if you get a chance, and hopefully I can keep up with all of you!

And one last thing before I forget!  I made a quick tutorial for those of you who have been having trouble trying to figure out how to Pingback your posts.  Please go here, if you’d like to view the tutorial.  😉

 

 

Keep searching…

~ ~M ~ 3 Comments

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“Where there’s rain, there’s always a rainbow to be found.”  ~M

Photo credit: Pixabay.com

January Writing Prompts

~ ~M ~ 286 Comments

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Happy New Year everyone!  It’s hard to believe another year is gone.  I decided to team up this month with Dorinda Duclos to create some awesome prompts for all of you.  She wrote half of them, so let’s see if any of you can figure out which one’s she wrote verses the one’s I wrote.  I think it was sort of funny how we both had similar ideas.  Please leave some feedback and let me know if you are enjoying the longer prompts.  If you’d like me to go back to writing the shorter ones, I’d be happy to oblige.  Enjoy!  ~M

If you’re new to prompt writing, and don’t really understand how to use the prompts, please consider the following writing exercise.

Settle into your favorite place in the house with a hot drink to warm your waking bones.  Once you’ve warmed up a bit; grab your journal, a trusty pen, and a timer.  Then, set your timer for ten minutes and begin writing about one of the prompts.  Don’t worry about spelling, punctuation, neatness, or anything like that; just write!  Write about anything and everything that comes to your mind, and don’t stop until the ten minutes are up.

I often find myself writing short stories or poems during those ten minutes, but you can write about anything you like.  And don’t be alarmed if what you’ve written doesn’t quite make sense.  The whole idea behind doing this exercise is to get your mind ready and working so that you can begin your day.  Just think of it as exercise for your brain, and once you’ve done your ten minutes of writing, you’ll feel more prepared to tackle the rest of your day.

And one last thing before I forget!  I made a quick tutorial for those of you who have been having trouble trying to figure out how to Pingback your posts.  Please go here, if you’d like to view the tutorial.  😉

 

January Writing Prompts

  1. A lifetime of laughter could have saved them all.
  2. As she walked to the end of the wooden boards, the stars spoke to her.
  3. Every inch of his body sensed her presence.
  4. A brilliant light shined from the other side of the lake.
  5. Milky white peaks charmed their senses.
  6. Beyond the forest glen, the realization struck her.
  7. She read aloud to the sounds of crashing waves.
  8. A distant shore was all that remained.
  9. Swept away with the wind, her hair looked a mess.
  10. The boat was empty, except for one lone fish.
  11. Prepared for battle, she made her presence known.
  12. The stone path through the woods lead her nowhere.
  13. The answer rested quietly inside the belly of the broomstick.
  14. The storm raged on without any hope of being saved.
  15. And as she walked away, she took it all with her.
  16. She was nothing but common until she donned the mask.
  17. Fate took a turn for the worse at the fork in the road.
  18. The pebbles devoured the succulents, one tasty morsel at a time.
  19. One last yank then a pull and the landing was clear.
  20. A braver attempt had never before been seen.
  21. The glittery gem held all the secrets of the past.
  22. It was a ludicrous request but one that drew his attention.
  23. Reflections in the water completed the circle.
  24. The universe just wasn’t big enough for both of them.
  25. The recording was all the proof they needed.
  26. Time was running out and his watch had stopped dead.
  27. She did exactly what she was told never to do.
  28. As they chatted away, he needed to find a way out.
  29. Slipping between the seams, there was no turning back.
  30. A simple reason was all she needed.
  31. And completely by mistake, the switch was made.