The grass isn’t always greener…

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The grass often looks greener on the other side, and yet so often it’s just an illusion, and when you do finally get there, it’s really just a hill covered in slime. ~M


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Being the very best version of ourselves…

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“We can’t control what others do and how they choose to live their lives, but we can focus on being the very best versions of ourselves. And who knows, our positive actions may just rub off on others. It doesn’t do any harm to at least try, and you might discover some unique things about yourself in the process.” ~M


Photo credit: https://pixabay.com/photos/composing-monkey-woman-laugh-sepia-2925179/

Thoughts for the day…

One thing this year has taught me is that I’m better off without people in my life who only want to say hurtful things about others. This is one reason I decided to leave social media last year, and I haven’t regretted my decision for a second. We all have our flaws and nobody is better than anyone else. Each of us has our own ideas and opinions and that makes us all unique and beautiful in our own way. An old rule I’m forever trying to follow is, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” I think this is the first thing any of us should be asking ourselves before we say anything. We need to bring back unity into the world, and it’s so easy to do that when we spread kindness. These are just my thoughts for the day. I hope everyone is enjoying the beginning of the new year. Let’s try to make it a positive one! Much love to all of you! ~M xo

P.S. I’ve been without WiFi for the majority of the past three weeks, which has made it difficult to respond to comments and read posts. I will try my best to respond and catch up with all of you as soon as I can. 😉

Love…

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“Love is sometimes like a burst of molten lava; flowing outward in all directions, and then lingering in the cracks and crevices as it slowly begins to cool. But it’s a dispiriting sight when it loses its bright red luster, becoming instead, a hardened form of magma. There’s just no way to change it back to its original, radiant form.” ~M


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Rambling…

I finally started seeing a therapist several months ago, and my therapist has tasked me to try and figure out what I want for myself. I never really think about what I want out of life without first thinking about how my desires will impact everyone else around me. And according to my therapist, this seems to be an area that I need to work on. I place others needs before my own a lot of the time, and I mainly do it because I try to protect my friends and family, and do what seems best for them. I also tend to compare myself to other people, and think that if they’re alright with something, that I should be too. And right now, there are a lot of people telling me that I should be okay with the life I have and appreciate what I have. A lot of people think I should disregard the hard to deal with issues in my life, and just accept everything as it is; but should I? That’s another question my therapist wants me to figure out for myself. And according to him, I need to stop listening to other people and make some decisions for myself. The problem is, making decisions is difficult for me. I grew up in a very strict home, being directed and told what to do every day of my life. I wasn’t allowed to make my own decisions. And so when I was finally out on my own for the first time, having to make decisions for myself, I really didn’t know how to do that. I think it’s funny how our growing up experiences affect us so much later on in life. But this is just one example of how our upbringing can really screw us up. I know my parents did the best they could, but I just wish my mother hadn’t been so darn overprotective. Oh well… I’ve made plenty of mothering mistakes myself. Just ask my four girls… I’m sure they have a million stories to tell. I guess we can only try and do our best. We are only human, after all.

I really loved my rose-colored glasses…

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I’ve kept silent for a long time because I wasn’t even sure what to say. And even now, I really have no idea how to articulate all that I’ve been wanting to share. The one thing I do know is that this year has been really hard; maybe even the most difficult year of my life. The thing is, I feel like I have nobody else to blame except myself. I’ve made some very stupid decisions, and I’ve been paying the price for a lot of them. And it’s interesting to me, at the age of 47, that I am still making such idiotic decisions. One thing I’ve realized is that I need to start trusting my gut more and not allow people to walk all over me. This entire year, I’ve been choosing to disregard things that I didn’t want to believe because it was just easier to look the other way. I thought it was better to ignore what was right in front of me, and give the people in my life unlimited opportunities to redeem themselves. But that way of thinking only backfired and has sort of destroyed the trusting side of me. I know now without a doubt that I have nobody else to blame except for myself because I chose to ignore the obvious, and accepted the consequences in doing so. But I’ve also learned that I can’t allow it to happen anymore, and even if it means further heartache, I have to continue to stand up for myself. I really loved my rose-colored glasses, and if I could wear them for the rest of my life, I would. But I’ve decided that those glasses have outgrown their usefulness. The world isn’t rosy at all, and I don’t know why I ever decided to pretend it was.


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