Tag: resentment

Just let it go…

~ ~M ~ 4 Comments

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“When we let anger and resentment control us, we’re only inflicting unnecessary pain on ourselves.”  ~M

Photo credit: Pixabay.com

#weekendcoffeeshare – Provoked and Peeved

~ ~M ~ 40 Comments

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Good morning everyone, I really hope all of you have been having a lovely week.  It’s been mostly cold, wet and dreary here, so I’m in need of some cheery conversation.  I’ve got a scrumptious homemade chai tea, hot chocolate with extra whipped cream, or regular ol medium roast coffee this morning.  So take your pick!  Alright, let’s get to it…

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that my frustration level has hit a new high this week.  I’m normally a very calm and easy going person, until somebody decides to rev me up.  I suppose I’m just tired of letting people walk all over me, but then I wrestle with the notion that I ought to be sweet and nice and not rock anybody’s boat.

Somedays, I think the best thing I could do for myself, is to just let go of anyone who can’t seem to play nice with me.  After all, I shouldn’t have to put up with all the nonsense when I haven’t done anything wrong.  So often, I feel like I’m back in the school yard once again, with the way people act these days!  The behavior of some is quite appalling and so often unnecessary.

Okay, my little rant is over.  I just needed to get that out, it’s been welling up inside me all week and simply needed to be said.  Now to my very kind and thoughtful blogger friends, I have no problems with any of you.  All of you have been so sweet to me, and WP is my happy place because of it.  So thank you fellow bloggers, let us continue to unite as an unrelenting positive force!

Now I do believe, there is a silver lining in every lousy thing we may face.  And this week was no exception.  I took all the anger that had been building up inside me this week and poured it all out into my writing.  I was having a bit of writer’s block at the beginning of the week, and then all it took was that one last hit over the head for the dam to break, and for me to finally regain my thoughts once more.

Isn’t it funny how our emotions can often drive us to actually getting things accomplished?  When I get angry or upset, I turn my frustrations into productivity.  If I’m at home and someone upsets me, watch out!  I’ll have my house cleaned in a quarter of the time it normally takes me.  That’s just how I am, and how I’ve always been.  I suppose that’s always been my way of fighting back and not giving in to defeat.

There are so many people I know, who just give up the minute life gets a tad bit difficult.  I think this drives me crazier than anything else.  How can you simply give up, when things don’t go according to plan?  In my mind, that just causes a person to become even more beaten down.  Anyway, enough about me and what I think.  Tell me about your week; anything new and exciting to share?  I’d really love to hear about it, so please leave me a message in the comments section.

One final thought… I really hope all of you have a very blessed week, and please don’t ever give up.  Turn your frustrations into creative energy and focus on the positives!  Hugs and kisses!  ~M

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Many thanks to Nerd In The Brain for hosting the #WeekendCoffeeShare, a collective of chats over digital coffee among bloggers. To find out more, and to see this weeks posts, go here.

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Him Vs. Her – Manipulation

~ ~M ~ 20 Comments

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Have you ever been manipulated by a family member? Perhaps even one of your own children?

We have four beautiful girls. All of who are very intelligent and sweet. Yet over the years, my husband and I have been manipulated on several occasions by those same sweet girls. It started off innocently enough at first. One of girls would say something like, “Mom, can I have a cookie?” My response… “No, it’s too close to dinnertime.” Five minutes later…. “Why are you eating that cookie? Didn’t I tell you it was too close to dinnertime?” Daughter’s response… “Well… I asked Dad, and he said I could.”

This is just all too typical of how things usually go. If the kids ask me something and I say no, they immediately run to dad to see if he will say yes, and vice versa. During the early years in our marriage, this was a huge problem for us. I would get mad at hubby, thinking he should know better than to give one of our girl’s cookies before dinnertime and then he would get angry at me, since he really couldn’t see what all the fuss was about. Of course this is just one simple scenario; as the girls got older, saying yes to cookies was the least of our problems.

Years passed by and we still hadn’t figured out that by allowing our girls to manipulate us, we were creating some serious problems for our marriage. There would be times when the kids would make plans with me to do something, fully knowing that their dad wasn’t ok with it, and then I would get blamed for allowing them to do whatever it was their dad had already said no too. This scenario of course went both ways. This caused a lot of resentment to build up in our marriage. The girls eventually figured out which one of us was the most likely to give them the answer they wanted, and so then they would use that knowledge to their advantage.

Hubby and I made the mistake of letting this continue on for too many years. If we had been smart, we would have learned sooner to communicate better and make all of our decisions together as a family. Unfortunately, with the way our work schedules were back in those days, we really didn’t take the time to communicate with each other like we should have. Because of this, our relationship with each other and the relationships with our girls really did suffer.

Fortunately, we have since learned, if one of our girls asks us for something, we make sure that they haven’t already been told no; and any really important decisions, always get discussed together as a family. We have found that by sitting together at dinnertime, we now have the opportunity to discuss things which are currently going on. It’s the perfect time to make future plans for upcoming events and it helps keep everyone on the same page.

Do you struggle with this in your own family? And if so, what have you done to try and remedy the problem?

 

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