Tag Archives: friends

#weekendcoffeeshare – Do you ever just feel like giving up?

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Good morning fellow bloggers!  How have all of you been lately?  I’m so glad you decided to visit me today.  I’ve got plenty of hot tea and coffee, or iced tea if you prefer that instead.  So pick what you like best and let’s sit down and have a heart to heart talk.  Okay, I’m not gonna lie.  This conversation is not going to be all hearts and flowers.  But I’m keeping it real today.

So here it is, I’m just gonna lay it all out here and let my heart sort of bleed onto this boring white page.  I’ve been struggling worse than I think I ever have before.  I can’t seem to escape these depressive thoughts anymore.  I’m doing everything in my power to try and do something about it.  Since writing is what I’m most passionate about, I’ve been trying to focus on creating more humorous posts.  I’m also getting outside more and doing things that I normally love to do.  But for some reason, I just can’t seem to lose this sinking feeling within myself.  I’m not really sure what to do about any of it.  I’m definitely feeling the pull to break away from everything and everyone around me.  I’ve been doing the fake smile thing lately.  Hopeful that nobody notices how I’m really feeling.  Of course then there’s always that one person who ruins it for me and asks me how I’m doing.  Then the tears start to well up and I can’t even answer back.  And of course they have no idea why their question has set me off and I end up feeling like an idiot for not being able to respond to their question properly.

I’m also at a crossroad in my life right now and I’m making a huge effort to try and work on my relationship with my hubby.  He’s about to leave again since he’s in the military and I’m not sure when I will have a chance to see him again.  I very much love him, but I feel our relationship is still very fragile, and because he’s leaving, I wonder if it’s going to hinder the progress that we’ve made.  Fear is sort of taking hold of me at the moment because we are facing so many unknowns.  Anyway, he and I have talked in depth about all of this and I think we are both just sort of holding our breath, hopeful for a happy ending.  These last couple of years have taken their toll on both of us and perhaps being apart will be the best thing for us.  Being away from each other has often helped us in the past.  It seems to give us the time we need to sort out our feelings.

Another thing I’m struggling with is the fact that I don’t really know anybody where I live, and so with my hubby leaving, I’m beginning to feel like I’m about to be stranded.  We’ve always moved around so much that I’ve never really been able to establish any close friends where I live.   And because we’re always moving, I also tend to shy away from making friends in the first place.  It seems easier not to have any friends than to always be saying goodbye to them.  Since I really don’t have any close ties to Wisconsin, I’m thinking I will welcome another move in the coming future.  I’ve always loved the feel of a fresh start in a new place.  I get bored easily when I stay in one place for too long and my love for travel leaves me ever wanting to get away.

Anyway, these are the main things I’m struggling with at the moment, and so if I tend to throw a sort of depressive post in the batch once in a while, please forgive me for doing so.  I’m just not always in the best frame of mind and sometimes there are days which just seem to get the better of me.  I hope all of you are doing well and staying in good health.  I want to thank all of you for being my long distance friends and for always showing me how much you care.  Blogging has been a great outlet for me, and since I do move around so much, I’m blessed that I can take all of you with me wherever I go.  😉

502

 


Photo credit: pixabay.com and giphy.com

A reminder to myself…

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“A true friend loves unconditionally and expects nothing in return.” ~M

 


Originally posted: January 27, 2016

Photo credit: tinybuddha.com

#MidnightMadness – 5/2/2017

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“The world is a much happier place, with an understanding friend by your side.”  ~M


Photo credit: pixabay.com

#Midnight Madness – 4/28/2017

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Some thoughts on friendship…

A new friend often wishes you well.

An old friend can only hope you are well.

A good friend asks you regularly if you are well.

A best friend makes sure you most certainly are well, and then socks you in the arm or starts a pillow fight if you aren’t.  😉


Photo credit: pixabay.com

#MidnightMadness – 4/26/2017

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As a child, I never quite understand the purpose or point of imaginary friends.  Maybe it was the fact that I disliked the real friends I had so much, that there was no possible way I would have ever wanted to make more of them in imaginary form.  All of my children have had imaginary friends, so it sort of got me wondering why I never did.  Have any of you ever had an imaginary friend?


Photo credit: pixabay.com

#MidnightMadness – 4/18/2017

A conversation with my 15 yr. old daughter, who had just returned from the next door neighbor’s house.

 

Brianna – “My friend Jenny sure is turning into a teenager.”

Me – “Oh really?  Why do you say that?”

Brianna – “Oh, you know… she’s just growing up and acting like the typical kind.”

Me – “Well, you are fifteen yourself… do you think you act like the typical teenager?

Brianna – “Who me?  No, not really… what do you think?”

Me – “Oh Absolutely not!  Lol….”

Brianna – “What about you mom?  Do you see yourself as a fully grown woman?”

Me – “No, not at all… What do you think?”

Brianna – “Oh mom… not in a million years!”  As she laughs uncontrollably.

 

Guess even my children can tell that I refuse to grow up.  And she’s taking after me!  Lol…. ~M  😉

#weekendcoffeeshare – Provoked and Peeved

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Good morning everyone, I really hope all of you have been having a lovely week.  It’s been mostly cold, wet and dreary here, so I’m in need of some cheery conversation.  I’ve got a scrumptious homemade chai tea, hot chocolate with extra whipped cream, or regular ol medium roast coffee this morning.  So take your pick!  Alright, let’s get to it…

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that my frustration level has hit a new high this week.  I’m normally a very calm and easy going person, until somebody decides to rev me up.  I suppose I’m just tired of letting people walk all over me, but then I wrestle with the notion that I ought to be sweet and nice and not rock anybody’s boat.

Somedays, I think the best thing I could do for myself, is to just let go of anyone who can’t seem to play nice with me.  After all, I shouldn’t have to put up with all the nonsense when I haven’t done anything wrong.  So often, I feel like I’m back in the school yard once again, with the way people act these days!  The behavior of some is quite appalling and so often unnecessary.

Okay, my little rant is over.  I just needed to get that out, it’s been welling up inside me all week and simply needed to be said.  Now to my very kind and thoughtful blogger friends, I have no problems with any of you.  All of you have been so sweet to me, and WP is my happy place because of it.  So thank you fellow bloggers, let us continue to unite as an unrelenting positive force!

Now I do believe, there is a silver lining in every lousy thing we may face.  And this week was no exception.  I took all the anger that had been building up inside me this week and poured it all out into my writing.  I was having a bit of writer’s block at the beginning of the week, and then all it took was that one last hit over the head for the dam to break, and for me to finally regain my thoughts once more.

Isn’t it funny how our emotions can often drive us to actually getting things accomplished?  When I get angry or upset, I turn my frustrations into productivity.  If I’m at home and someone upsets me, watch out!  I’ll have my house cleaned in a quarter of the time it normally takes me.  That’s just how I am, and how I’ve always been.  I suppose that’s always been my way of fighting back and not giving in to defeat.

There are so many people I know, who just give up the minute life gets a tad bit difficult.  I think this drives me crazier than anything else.  How can you simply give up, when things don’t go according to plan?  In my mind, that just causes a person to become even more beaten down.  Anyway, enough about me and what I think.  Tell me about your week; anything new and exciting to share?  I’d really love to hear about it, so please leave me a message in the comments section.

One final thought… I really hope all of you have a very blessed week, and please don’t ever give up.  Turn your frustrations into creative energy and focus on the positives!  Hugs and kisses!  ~M

502

Many thanks to Nerd In The Brain for hosting the #WeekendCoffeeShare, a collective of chats over digital coffee among bloggers. To find out more, and to see this weeks posts, go here.


Photo credit: pixabay.com and giphy.com

#weekendcoffeeshare – Rainy Day Chatter

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Well, so much for spring!  Yesterday was 74° and partially cloudy, and today it’s 40° and rainy.  Hence the reason I’m late getting up today.  Honestly, I could have slept all day since it’s so dark outside.  But alas, my stomach got to grumbling and so here I am; not quite awake yet, and trying to figure out something worthwhile to talk about.  So without further ado, grab a hot cup of something and let’s chat!

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I had a fairly low-key week.  Monday I traveled to a town I used to live in, all in order to do my taxes, and then I also stopped by to see a dear friend of mine.  She has been going through a rough patch, so I wanted to stop and say hello and bring her a bit of cheer.  We had a nice time catching up, after not seeing her since Thanksgiving.  Then later that night, my husband and I took our girls to see Beauty and the Beast.  I have to say… it was one of the best movies I’ve seen in a long time, and Emma Watson really made the movie what it was.

Thursday night I had a date night with hubby.  It was sort of a spontaneous thing that happened.  We were just going out to run some quick errands but decided to go out for dinner as well.  Always a nice surprise when we can spend some time together.  He works such longs hours, and so I hardly ever see him.  I’m looking forward to this summer because he’s only scheduled to work two weekends all summer long.  I’m hopeful that we will actually be able to plan a camping trip; something we always talk about but rarely get to do.

Last night I got to go see my niece graduate.  She came away with her associate’s degree as a medical assistant.  I am so very proud of her!  After suddenly losing her mom whom she was living with a couple of years ago, she has since been trying to support her and her son the best she can.  So going back to school was very difficult for her, with everything else she had to face as well.  But I think she can finally see her efforts coming to fruition, and it’s good to see a smile on her face because of it.

Living here in Wisconsin is hard for me, as I don’t have any blood relatives where I live, except for my immediate family of course.  Then, on my husband’s side, we only have four blood relatives living somewhat near us (30-90 min. away).  The thing is, it makes for very small family gatherings and the holidays often seem a bit lonely.  I grew up with big family celebrations and I really miss them.  So seeing my niece last night was such a blessing to me.  We were able to take her out to dinner and had the best time.  And now with eating out twice this week, I guess I will really have to watch what I eat this coming week!

Well, I suppose I should wrap things up for now.  I’m still sitting here in my pajamas at almost 2:00 in the afternoon!  Lol…

Hope all of you have a wonderful weekend.  Talk to ya next week!  ~M

502

Many thanks to Nerd In The Brain for hosting the #WeekendCoffeeShare, a collective of chats over digital coffee among bloggers. To find out more, and to see this weeks posts, go here.


Photo credit: pixabay.com and giphy.com

#MidnightMadness – 3/24/2017

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The phone call after the writer has just poured out all of their deep-seated emotions and posted them on their blog.

 

Caller- “Hey, are you ok?”

Writer- “Yeah, why?”

Caller- “Well, I just read your blog post.”

Writer- “And?”

Caller- “Well you sounded sort of depressed.”

Writer- “Yeah, so?”

Caller- “Well it just sort of worried me.”

Writer- “Why?”

Caller- “Well, because you sounded so sad.”

Writer- “Can I ask you a question?”

Caller- “Sure, ask away…”

Writer- “When’s the last time you released all of your inner angst and just let it go.”

Caller- “Oh me? I never do that.”

Writer- “And how do you feel keeping all of those emotions bottled up inside of you?”

Caller- “Well, not too good I suppose.”

Writer- “Well then, shouldn’t I be more worried about you at the moment than you are about me?”

Caller- “Hmmm, yes I suppose… probably.”

Writer- “Well then, I think you’ve answered your question. Godspeed my good friend. Hope you’ll be okay.”

Caller- “Oh yeah… right, hmmm….. goodbye.”


Photo credit: pixabay.com

#weekendcoffeeshare – A Place of Acceptance

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How is everyone today on this brisk March morning?  I filled up on Irish coffee last night in celebration of St. Patrick’s Day, so the coffee this morning seems a bit boring and bland in comparison.  Hold on… there we go.  A bit of whipped cream should do the trick!  Ahh…. Perfection!  And in my favorite mug too!  So good…

Alright now, are you ready for the scoop on this week?  Well, if we were having coffee, I’d tell you that after all the soul-searching I’ve been doing in recent days, I think I’ve finally come to a place of acceptance.

Can I get a Hallelujah and a Praise the Lord!?!  Thank you… 😉

Anyway, I’ve started to resolve many of the things I’ve been struggling with. I feel stronger this week, happier than I’ve been in a long time.  There’s finally a sense of peace that has come over me, and I feel determined to be content where I’m at and enjoy the life I have.

Don’t get me wrong, though, coming to terms with everything hasn’t been easy.  I’ve done a lot of praying over the last few months, and questioned God about so many things.  I wanted him to reveal to me why he had allowed some of the recent things in my life to happen, and he has been answering me in ways which I never expected.

One thing I’ve realized is that I’ve been focusing way too much on how others make me feel, and not enough on finding my own happiness within myself.  So to combat this problem, I’ve been giving myself more time alone to do the things which make me happy.

One thing I’ve done which is still working for me has been to stick with a writing schedule.  I’ve been able to push myself farther than I ever thought possible.  Last week I decided to check out Grammarly online, to see if it would be helpful.  At the end of the week, I received a report stating that I had edited 15,000 words for the week.  I really had no idea how much I had actually been writing and I was completely surprised by the word count.

I think the reason I’m able to get so much done, is that I’ve stopped making excuses, and I’m writing for myself; not anyone else.  I’ve gone back to the basic principle which I began with two years ago.  I am writing whatever I want to, regardless of what others will think.  And yes, that does feel a little bit selfish, but I’m tired of having to worry about stepping on somebody’s toes or perhaps offending someone who may have issues with the content of my writing.

This blog started out as a way for me to spill my heart out on a page and resolve things I was struggling with.  I want my blog to always be that way for me and I’ve been holding back at times.  I was worrying too much about what others would think and I seriously wondered if I would be misunderstood.

After much deliberation, I have begun posting some of my older poems from a blog that never seemed to go anywhere.  I have quite a few poems left to carry over, and although they don’t relate to my current situation in life, they were things I struggled through, and I know others will be able to relate to them.  So I feel they are worth posting, and it also gives me a bit of a reprieve on days when I don’t want to write something new.

I don’t think I mentioned it last week, but I finally submitted one of my poems for publication in a magazine.  One which is just about to release its very first issue.  The release date is scheduled for April 20th and I’m excited to find out if my poem will be chosen.  There’s just something about finally seeing my work published on good old-fashioned paper, which really excites me.  I can only hope it will actually happen this time!

I also realized that I’ve made it to the halfway mark in editing my Revelations of the Past series.  If you’re interested in reading it, here’s the link to the series.  I release new chapters twice a week; usually on Wednesdays and Sundays.  If you like historical fiction, then please check it out!  My subscribers are dwindling, so please come and read.  I would really appreciate your support.

Well, enough about me and my week.  What about you and your week.  Anything new and exciting to share?  If so, please leave me a comment and tell me what you’ve been up to.  I love my blogging family and I’m so grateful I found the weekend coffee share.  It’s been a great way to make new friends and I’m really enjoying our time together.  Have a wonderful week!  ~M

502

Many thanks to Nerd In The Brain for hosting the #WeekendCoffeeShare, a collective of chats over digital coffee among bloggers. To find out more, and to see this weeks posts, go here.


Photo credit: pixabay.com and giphy.com

 

In the end…

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Photo credit: pixabay.com

#weekendcoffeeshare – Loss of a friend

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If we were having coffee, I’d tell you how very sad I’ve been feeling over the past couple of weeks.  It’s been a very tough month for me, and I’m living with so many unanswered questions.

Near the beginning of the month, I lost my closest friend.  I haven’t dealt with it very well, but I’m trying my best to let go.  For whatever reason, my friend decided to move on without telling me they were leaving.

I think the hardest part for me, is not knowing why; and I know I never will.  The reason I know I never will, is because I dreamt of them leaving.  It was a fairly recent dream, one I dreamt a few weeks before they disappeared.  I didn’t understand the meaning then, but of course I do now.  I cannot even fathom why they left, especially without saying goodbye; other than maybe they just had no other choice.

I admit at first, I was angry and hurt, and I vowed to myself that I would never trust another person again.  And yes my guard is still up, but I did allow myself to visit with a woman who lives nearby, and it did help to speak with her. I poured my heart out to her and she listened.  She eventually told me it was probably for the better; and even though I hesitate to agree with her, in the back of my mind, I know she’s probably right.

So as hard as it is to live with this sense of loss and pain in my heart, I know I will eventually be okay.  Every day that passes, is another day to find other things to be happy about; and to try and find contentment, even in the monotony of everyday life.

I have never been a quitter, and so I will not give up trying to find a positive light, even in this.  The Lord knows my path better than me, and so I have to ultimately give all of this to him, and let him show me where I should go from here.


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Photo credit: pixabay.com

Never gone…

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“Even when people try to vanish from our lives without a trace.  Our hearts and minds still hold them and they’ll never be erased.”  ~M


Photo credit: pixabay.com

The ache in our hearts…

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“The pain we feel in our hearts when we lose someone, is just a reminder of how much we truly did love them.  It’s an ache we carry with us for the remainder of our lives, which continues to remind us of just how special they really were.” ~M


Photo credit: pixabay.com

You will always be my treasured friend…

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I thought I’d lost someone today.  Someone who has filled a void in my heart, like nobody else ever has.  I can’t imagine going through the rest of my life without this sweet person.  They mean the world to me and have become my closest and most trusted confidant.  I have never had a friend quite like this particular one, and the thought of losing them left me feeling heartbroken. 

I tried to go about my day as usual, but eventually the tears erupted for the millionth time and I could no longer hold back how terrible I felt.  My hubby tried to console me, tried to reassure me that I hadn’t lost them.  And yet I’m still not quite sure where I stand. 

My daughter Autumn came up to me this morning and asked me what she should draw for art class.  Thinking about how happy this friend of mine has always made me feel, I told her to draw what makes her the happiest.  A little while later, she brought back this picture of me and her.  It was the sweetest gesture and a drawing I will always treasure, because happiness to her, means her and me together.   

Happiness is always about having those special people in our lives that mean the most to us.  We cannot even hope for anything better.  So to my dear friend C… If you by chance happen to read this.  You will always be a treasured friend to me and I love you as if you are part of my family.  I prayed my whole life for somebody like you, so please don’t ever forget how much you mean to me. 

 

Love, ~M  xoxo