#MidnightMadness – 3/24/2017

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The phone call after the writer has just poured out all of their deep-seated emotions and posted them on their blog.

 

Caller- “Hey, are you ok?”

Writer- “Yeah, why?”

Caller- “Well, I just read your blog post.”

Writer- “And?”

Caller- “Well you sounded sort of depressed.”

Writer- “Yeah, so?”

Caller- “Well it just sort of worried me.”

Writer- “Why?”

Caller- “Well, because you sounded so sad.”

Writer- “Can I ask you a question?”

Caller- “Sure, ask away…”

Writer- “When’s the last time you released all of your inner angst and just let it go.”

Caller- “Oh me? I never do that.”

Writer- “And how do you feel keeping all of those emotions bottled up inside of you?”

Caller- “Well, not too good I suppose.”

Writer- “Well then, shouldn’t I be more worried about you at the moment than you are about me?”

Caller- “Hmmm, yes I suppose… probably.”

Writer- “Well then, I think you’ve answered your question. Godspeed my good friend. Hope you’ll be okay.”

Caller- “Oh yeah… right, hmmm….. goodbye.”


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#weekendcoffeeshare – A Place of Acceptance

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How is everyone today on this brisk March morning?  I filled up on Irish coffee last night in celebration of St. Patrick’s Day, so the coffee this morning seems a bit boring and bland in comparison.  Hold on… there we go.  A bit of whipped cream should do the trick!  Ahh…. Perfection!  And in my favorite mug too!  So good…

Alright now, are you ready for the scoop on this week?  Well, if we were having coffee, I’d tell you that after all the soul-searching I’ve been doing in recent days, I think I’ve finally come to a place of acceptance.

Can I get a Hallelujah and a Praise the Lord!?!  Thank you… 😉

Anyway, I’ve started to resolve many of the things I’ve been struggling with. I feel stronger this week, happier than I’ve been in a long time.  There’s finally a sense of peace that has come over me, and I feel determined to be content where I’m at and enjoy the life I have.

Don’t get me wrong, though, coming to terms with everything hasn’t been easy.  I’ve done a lot of praying over the last few months, and questioned God about so many things.  I wanted him to reveal to me why he had allowed some of the recent things in my life to happen, and he has been answering me in ways which I never expected.

One thing I’ve realized is that I’ve been focusing way too much on how others make me feel, and not enough on finding my own happiness within myself.  So to combat this problem, I’ve been giving myself more time alone to do the things which make me happy.

One thing I’ve done which is still working for me has been to stick with a writing schedule.  I’ve been able to push myself farther than I ever thought possible.  Last week I decided to check out Grammarly online, to see if it would be helpful.  At the end of the week, I received a report stating that I had edited 15,000 words for the week.  I really had no idea how much I had actually been writing and I was completely surprised by the word count.

I think the reason I’m able to get so much done, is that I’ve stopped making excuses, and I’m writing for myself; not anyone else.  I’ve gone back to the basic principle which I began with two years ago.  I am writing whatever I want to, regardless of what others will think.  And yes, that does feel a little bit selfish, but I’m tired of having to worry about stepping on somebody’s toes or perhaps offending someone who may have issues with the content of my writing.

This blog started out as a way for me to spill my heart out on a page and resolve things I was struggling with.  I want my blog to always be that way for me and I’ve been holding back at times.  I was worrying too much about what others would think and I seriously wondered if I would be misunderstood.

After much deliberation, I have begun posting some of my older poems from a blog that never seemed to go anywhere.  I have quite a few poems left to carry over, and although they don’t relate to my current situation in life, they were things I struggled through, and I know others will be able to relate to them.  So I feel they are worth posting, and it also gives me a bit of a reprieve on days when I don’t want to write something new.

I don’t think I mentioned it last week, but I finally submitted one of my poems for publication in a magazine.  One which is just about to release its very first issue.  The release date is scheduled for April 20th and I’m excited to find out if my poem will be chosen.  There’s just something about finally seeing my work published on good old-fashioned paper, which really excites me.  I can only hope it will actually happen this time!

I also realized that I’ve made it to the halfway mark in editing my Revelations of the Past series.  If you’re interested in reading it, here’s the link to the series.  I release new chapters twice a week; usually on Wednesdays and Sundays.  If you like historical fiction, then please check it out!  My subscribers are dwindling, so please come and read.  I would really appreciate your support.

Well, enough about me and my week.  What about you and your week.  Anything new and exciting to share?  If so, please leave me a comment and tell me what you’ve been up to.  I love my blogging family and I’m so grateful I found the weekend coffee share.  It’s been a great way to make new friends and I’m really enjoying our time together.  Have a wonderful week!  ~M

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Many thanks to Nerd In The Brain for hosting the #WeekendCoffeeShare, a collective of chats over digital coffee among bloggers. To find out more, and to see this weeks posts, go here.


Photo credit: pixabay.com and giphy.com

 

In the end…

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Photo credit: pixabay.com

#weekendcoffeeshare – Loss of a friend

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If we were having coffee, I’d tell you how very sad I’ve been feeling over the past couple of weeks.  It’s been a very tough month for me, and I’m living with so many unanswered questions.

Near the beginning of the month, I lost my closest friend.  I haven’t dealt with it very well, but I’m trying my best to let go.  For whatever reason, my friend decided to move on without telling me they were leaving.

I think the hardest part for me, is not knowing why; and I know I never will.  The reason I know I never will, is because I dreamt of them leaving.  It was a fairly recent dream, one I dreamt a few weeks before they disappeared.  I didn’t understand the meaning then, but of course I do now.  I cannot even fathom why they left, especially without saying goodbye; other than maybe they just had no other choice.

I admit at first, I was angry and hurt, and I vowed to myself that I would never trust another person again.  And yes my guard is still up, but I did allow myself to visit with a woman who lives nearby, and it did help to speak with her. I poured my heart out to her and she listened.  She eventually told me it was probably for the better; and even though I hesitate to agree with her, in the back of my mind, I know she’s probably right.

So as hard as it is to live with this sense of loss and pain in my heart, I know I will eventually be okay.  Every day that passes, is another day to find other things to be happy about; and to try and find contentment, even in the monotony of everyday life.

I have never been a quitter, and so I will not give up trying to find a positive light, even in this.  The Lord knows my path better than me, and so I have to ultimately give all of this to him, and let him show me where I should go from here.


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Photo credit: pixabay.com

Never gone…

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“Even when people try to vanish from our lives without a trace.  Our hearts and minds still hold them and they’ll never be erased.”  ~M


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