“When words cannot convey what your heart longs to speak, a hug is the only alternative.” ~M xo
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Good morning fellow bloggers! How have all of you been lately? I’m so glad you decided to visit me today. I’ve got plenty of hot tea and coffee, or iced tea if you prefer that instead. So pick what you like best and let’s sit down and have a heart to heart talk. Okay, I’m not gonna lie. This conversation is not going to be all hearts and flowers. But I’m keeping it real today.
So here it is, I’m just gonna lay it all out here and let my heart sort of bleed onto this boring white page. I’ve been struggling worse than I think I ever have before. I can’t seem to escape these depressive thoughts anymore. I’m doing everything in my power to try and do something about it. Since writing is what I’m most passionate about, I’ve been trying to focus on creating more humorous posts. I’m also getting outside more and doing things that I normally love to do. But for some reason, I just can’t seem to lose this sinking feeling within myself. I’m not really sure what to do about any of it. I’m definitely feeling the pull to break away from everything and everyone around me. I’ve been doing the fake smile thing lately. Hopeful that nobody notices how I’m really feeling. Of course then there’s always that one person who ruins it for me and asks me how I’m doing. Then the tears start to well up and I can’t even answer back. And of course they have no idea why their question has set me off and I end up feeling like an idiot for not being able to respond to their question properly.
I’m also at a crossroad in my life right now and I’m making a huge effort to try and work on my relationship with my hubby. He’s about to leave again since he’s in the military and I’m not sure when I will have a chance to see him again. I very much love him, but I feel our relationship is still very fragile, and because he’s leaving, I wonder if it’s going to hinder the progress that we’ve made. Fear is sort of taking hold of me at the moment because we are facing so many unknowns. Anyway, he and I have talked in depth about all of this and I think we are both just sort of holding our breath, hopeful for a happy ending. These last couple of years have taken their toll on both of us and perhaps being apart will be the best thing for us. Being away from each other has often helped us in the past. It seems to give us the time we need to sort out our feelings.
Another thing I’m struggling with is the fact that I don’t really know anybody where I live, and so with my hubby leaving, I’m beginning to feel like I’m about to be stranded. We’ve always moved around so much that I’ve never really been able to establish any close friends where I live. And because we’re always moving, I also tend to shy away from making friends in the first place. It seems easier not to have any friends than to always be saying goodbye to them. Since I really don’t have any close ties to Wisconsin, I’m thinking I will welcome another move in the coming future. I’ve always loved the feel of a fresh start in a new place. I get bored easily when I stay in one place for too long and my love for travel leaves me ever wanting to get away.
Anyway, these are the main things I’m struggling with at the moment, and so if I tend to throw a sort of depressive post in the batch once in a while, please forgive me for doing so. I’m just not always in the best frame of mind and sometimes there are days which just seem to get the better of me. I hope all of you are doing well and staying in good health. I want to thank all of you for being my long distance friends and for always showing me how much you care. Blogging has been a great outlet for me, and since I do move around so much, I’m blessed that I can take all of you with me wherever I go. 😉
Photo credit: pixabay.com and giphy.com
He was the boy
Who brought a smile
Wherever he went
Yes, he was that boy…
And my tears just won’t relent
*Sorry folks, but grief won out tonight… ~M
Photo credit: pixabay.com
Good morning everyone, I really hope all of you have been having a lovely week. It’s been mostly cold, wet and dreary here, so I’m in need of some cheery conversation. I’ve got a scrumptious homemade chai tea, hot chocolate with extra whipped cream, or regular ol medium roast coffee this morning. So take your pick! Alright, let’s get to it…
If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that my frustration level has hit a new high this week. I’m normally a very calm and easy going person, until somebody decides to rev me up. I suppose I’m just tired of letting people walk all over me, but then I wrestle with the notion that I ought to be sweet and nice and not rock anybody’s boat.
Somedays, I think the best thing I could do for myself, is to just let go of anyone who can’t seem to play nice with me. After all, I shouldn’t have to put up with all the nonsense when I haven’t done anything wrong. So often, I feel like I’m back in the school yard once again, with the way people act these days! The behavior of some is quite appalling and so often unnecessary.
Okay, my little rant is over. I just needed to get that out, it’s been welling up inside me all week and simply needed to be said. Now to my very kind and thoughtful blogger friends, I have no problems with any of you. All of you have been so sweet to me, and WP is my happy place because of it. So thank you fellow bloggers, let us continue to unite as an unrelenting positive force!
Now I do believe, there is a silver lining in every lousy thing we may face. And this week was no exception. I took all the anger that had been building up inside me this week and poured it all out into my writing. I was having a bit of writer’s block at the beginning of the week, and then all it took was that one last hit over the head for the dam to break, and for me to finally regain my thoughts once more.
Isn’t it funny how our emotions can often drive us to actually getting things accomplished? When I get angry or upset, I turn my frustrations into productivity. If I’m at home and someone upsets me, watch out! I’ll have my house cleaned in a quarter of the time it normally takes me. That’s just how I am, and how I’ve always been. I suppose that’s always been my way of fighting back and not giving in to defeat.
There are so many people I know, who just give up the minute life gets a tad bit difficult. I think this drives me crazier than anything else. How can you simply give up, when things don’t go according to plan? In my mind, that just causes a person to become even more beaten down. Anyway, enough about me and what I think. Tell me about your week; anything new and exciting to share? I’d really love to hear about it, so please leave me a message in the comments section.
One final thought… I really hope all of you have a very blessed week, and please don’t ever give up. Turn your frustrations into creative energy and focus on the positives! Hugs and kisses! ~M
Photo credit: pixabay.com and giphy.com