“If I’ve failed as a mother than I’ve failed at everything.” ~M
Photo credit: https://pixabay.com/photos/woman-despair-loss-cover-sadness-3758052/
How I feel…
~ ~M
Published by ~M
“When the weight of the world is upon you and you're left spinning out of control. When you’ve been plunged head first into darkness, and you don’t know where to go. Simply follow that tiny flicker of light, far off in the distance somewhere. It’ll lead you to a place where love abounds and where hope is found everywhere.” ~M View all posts by ~M
Putting My Feet in the Dirt 
I have said these same things to myself many times. I allow myself a brief moment of despair. I rarely come through these moments gracefully. Thankfully, I have a partner who will remind me that, my feelings are not facts.
I don’t know what situations in your life trigger this feeling. I can tell you mine are based in my financial situation. I currently earn as much or more, than my father did in the 1980s. Yet, I cannot raise my children with the same life style. There are moments when I am convinced that I somehow brought this on myself, when the reality is that in the 1980s, there were antitrust laws in place and banking regulatory laws in place that afforded working class folks to achieve home ownership and relative autonomy. After deregulation, these modest desires are very hard to achieve without inherited wealth or “a small loan of a million dollars.” lol.
At the age 53, I am realizing now, more than ever, that my level of acceptance and positivity is relative often to my checking account balance. Today happens to be a good day. I know you will have another good day soon, if you’re not already having one. A piece of wisdom I learned a few years back, that I keep in mind for these times is, “you never feel too good or too bad for too long.” Thank you so much for sharing your words.
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And that’s the key… having someone to remind you that those feelings aren’t facts. I don’t come through these moments gracefully either. I take everything way too hard and beat myself up over the tiniest of things. You and I aren’t far apart in age, and at this point in our lives, I think we just want to feel like we’ve given all we could. To look back and see the success of my children, makes me feel like I did something right. If they’re unhappy and struggling, then I feel like I had something to do with that. I love the quote you shared, and I’ve copied it down as a reminder to myself. The other quote that I try to always keep in mind is, “Nobody can ruin your day without your permission.” Thank you for stopping by and sharing your story with me. It’s always good when someone can remind you that you’re not the only one who feels the way you do.
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That’s sad. It can’t be a total failure. There is more than likely plenty of good you have done as a parent.
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Yes, but it’s hard to see all those good things on the days when you’re told you failed.
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True statement. But somebody has to remind you 😉 if I knew you better I’d give you specific examples
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So very true… and thank you for the reminder. Some days I just let myself believe the worst. The truth is, I know deep down I’ve tried my best. I guess that’s all anyone can really do.
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I have felt inadequacy in my life too. We can’t beat ourselves up too much.
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Thanks Tony… so very true. We just have to keep trying, and do the best we can.
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