sadness – Page 8 – Putting My Feet in the Dirt

Ok so… the strangest thing just happened to me about an hour ago. I was on my phone and a message popped up that said “If you need me, I’m here for you.” That was all it said and then my phone shut off and wouldn’t turn back on for about 30 mins. After finally getting my phone to work again, the message is nowhere to be found. I have checked all my emails, messages, all my apps, and there is simply no message saying that anywhere. The craziest thing is, I have been really down in the dumps lately and feel like I don’t always have somebody who I can immediately turn to. I know I can always turn to God, but sometimes it’s so hard for me to want to turn to somebody who I can’t see, feel, or talk to face-to-face. So honestly, even though I know God is always there, I need human contact! A true living breathing friend who wants to know me and listen to me when I need them. And yet I have a feeling that God was trying to get my attention tonight. Are you really there God? And if you’re listening… I really do need you… Love, ~Me

Do you ever find yourself lashing out irrationally at people, just because you’re having a bad day? Well, this has been me over the last few weeks. My whole world seemed to cave in on me suddenly, when I learned something about the past that I didn’t know before. This little bit of information has literally changed everything for me and I am not sure what to do about it. I feel like I am losing control of myself and plummeting like a fighter jet that has been shot down. Life is never easy is it? Just when we think we have it all together, our flight path changes directions and we are thrown off course. Why do you think this happens? Do you think it’s God’s way of waking us up? Is He doing this to cause us to turn in a new direction? Is He trying to point out a weakness in ourselves that we just never saw before? Does God even have anything to do with this; or is it by chance that things like this happen? I tend to believe for the most part, that most things happen for a reason. I believe that God is always looking out for our well-being, even in the darkest moments of our lives. He thinks eternally, we think years. I am generally a very open-minded, positive person. But am I really? If I was, than why is this affecting me so much? Sometimes I wish the world would just stop turning for a moment so that I could jump off. The drama in life is just overwhelming and absolutely painful at times. Maybe time is the only real cure. God’s time…