In the end…

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“There will come a day when our choices won’t matter, some hearts will be saved and others scattered.” ~M

 


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Love and Acceptance

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Oh the topic of love and acceptance, where do I even begin? I am one who easily loves almost everyone I meet. I feel a deep compassion for others and I want to fix everyone’s problems. It kills me every time I see somebody suffering. I want to reach out and embrace the hurting souls of the world and take all of their pain away. When I am rejected by somebody who I am trying to comfort, I don’t understand why sometimes they cannot let me love them. I know part of this stems from my childhood, when I continuously sought after my mother’s love and approval.  My mother made me work for praise and I remember trying so hard to please her and gain her approval. When I would finally do something right, after trying over and over again to do things the way she wanted me to, I would finally get a “Well done” and it made my continuous efforts to please her all worth it in the end. But it was so hard to ever get her approval and I wore myself out trying. I think this is the reason that my relationship with my mother has suffered so much. I know I will never feel fully supported by her and so I have given up trying.  This is the biggest reason that I try so hard to show love and approval to others.  I know what it’s like not to have that support and I want to help others who face this problem too.

Rejection is a hard pill to swallow. However, I know that the only person I should really be looking to is God and how he sees me. I often make the mistake of completely opening up to others and letting them rest in my vulnerable heart. When they eventually leave, they always end up taking a piece of me with them. I suppose this is why I do better when I seclude myself from people. I hide in my house, away from the temptation to love people too much. I know by doing this, there is less chance of me getting my heart torn apart into pieces that I know will never quite fit back together the way they once did. 1 John 4:16 tells us that God is love and I feel a deep connection to this verse. If God “Is” love and we are supposed to follow his example, than we are to be love too. I know we can never fully “Be” love, because only God can do that, but I know I’ve been commanded to love my neighbor as myself (Gal. 5:14) and so I strive to do this as often as I can. I suppose if I just continue to focus on loving God completely with all my heart, soul, and might, as Deuteronomy 6:5 commands us to, then I will be able to accept rejection easier; because my heart will be fully in love with God and his acceptance will be enough.


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