Oh the topic of love and acceptance, where do I even begin? I am one who easily loves almost everyone I meet. I feel a deep compassion for others and I want to fix everyone’s problems. It kills me every time I see somebody suffering. I want to reach out and embrace the hurting souls of the world and take all of their pain away. When I am rejected by somebody who I am trying to comfort, I don’t understand why sometimes they cannot let me love them. I know part of this stems from my childhood, when I continuously sought after my mother’s love and approval. My mother made me work for praise and I remember trying so hard to please her and gain her approval. When I would finally do something right, after trying over and over again to do things the way she wanted me to, I would finally get a “Well done” and it made my continuous efforts to please her all worth it in the end. But it was so hard to ever get her approval and I wore myself out trying. I think this is the reason that my relationship with my mother has suffered so much. I know I will never feel fully supported by her and so I have given up trying. This is the biggest reason that I try so hard to show love and approval to others. I know what it’s like not to have that support and I want to help others who face this problem too.
Rejection is a hard pill to swallow. However, I know that the only person I should really be looking to is God and how he sees me. I often make the mistake of completely opening up to others and letting them rest in my vulnerable heart. When they eventually leave, they always end up taking a piece of me with them. I suppose this is why I do better when I seclude myself from people. I hide in my house, away from the temptation to love people too much. I know by doing this, there is less chance of me getting my heart torn apart into pieces that I know will never quite fit back together the way they once did. 1 John 4:16 tells us that God is love and I feel a deep connection to this verse. If God “Is” love and we are supposed to follow his example, than we are to be love too. I know we can never fully “Be” love, because only God can do that, but I know I’ve been commanded to love my neighbor as myself (Gal. 5:14) and so I strive to do this as often as I can. I suppose if I just continue to focus on loving God completely with all my heart, soul, and might, as Deuteronomy 6:5 commands us to, then I will be able to accept rejection easier; because my heart will be fully in love with God and his acceptance will be enough.
Photo credit: lifehopeandtruth.com
Putting My Feet in the Dirt 
My wife went through this very same thing with her Mother in the very same way and was left with the very same personality traits. Interesting.
She’s recently made the choice to let go spiritually and see her mother for what she actually was – very controlling. This has made a world of difference and brought her into her own like I’ve never seen before.
Sometimes, though we love them, we have to break their control mechanisms.
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This is interesting… I just spoke to my mother tonight about some decisions I am contemplating in regards to my future. She lives in constant fear of everything and doesn’t like the fact that I am so open to exploring all possibilities. Dangerous or not, I believe in letting God control my life. Wherever he leads me, will be his will for my life. She doesn’t quite understand this. I cannot let it bother me though. She just worries about me. I’m 44 years old now. You would think she would loosen the reigns a bit by now. Still the same old thing though… always wanting to control me and I have never been one to let her. I left home before graduating high school, because it got so bad. I have never once looked back or regretted that decision.
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The projected worry about you is often worry about herself and what she would do if she did not have an object to control. You are right. This comes from a fear mentality.
I’m so glad you just let God control your life. That’s the way it is meant to be. Besides, it is the happiest.
You don’t have to be pleasing to or help everyone out there, only the one’s you are directed to. This will result in the best outcomes for all.
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Thank you… I often feel directed to help those who would rather not be helped by me. In this case, I just pray for them as the Spirit leads me to. It’s the best I can do for somebody anyway. God knows our every need and I believe that he will take care of those who are hurting. There is no way I could ever help them the way he can. Sometimes I forget this though, in my eagerness to help people. It’s easy to get caught up in trying to solve the worlds problems when so many are pleading for mercy. Really breaks my heart…
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Amen, sister!!!! You’re very wise and this post only solidifies what you and I discovered not too long ago: we’re both compassionate and want to help others. We often put everyone else before us. I kills us to see others suffer.
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It really does… Which is why we would both make good missionaries. Brian and I have recently talked and I think we’ve finally decided to go into full-time missionary work once he retires in 5 years.
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I’m glad you agree. You think I’d make a good missionary? Wow, you’re the first to ever tell me so.:) That is very cool!! Would you still be able to write on the side?
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I’m surprised to hear that Dustin! With your caring, compassionate heart, you would make an awesome missionary! I will never give up writing no matter where I go or what I do. I think God will continue to use my writing as a way to reach out to people and this will be especially important if I am in full-time ministry. After every thing I’ve gone through over the past few years, I’m finally getting past all the junk that was consuming me and I can finally envision myself doing missionary work. The thought is really exciting to me! By doing something like this, I think my heart and soul will be blessed, because my main focus will be on God and God alone. It’s my greatest hearts desire to be closer to Him. I’m really getting excited about the possibility and having a husband who has decided that this is something he wants to do to, I couldn’t be happier right now! It’s amazing!
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Thank you. Sometimes I think that you know my heart better than most people, even myself. I definitely see what you mean. I can’t see myself being a missionary, but who knows what God has planned for any of us, right? I never saw myself finding a significant other, let alone being married or having children. I thought I’d spend all my days alone.
Good, I’m glad that nothing with deter you from writing, no matter where you are or what your circumstances may be.:) I am super happy for you and Brian and your family!!! ((((Big Hugs and Love)))))
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Really? Brian thought the same thing… He thought he’d be a bachelor his whole life, living in a cabin in the woods somewhere. I always knew I would get married and I knew I would have 4 kids. They were all girls too, just like I hoped for! 🙂
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Yep, it’s true. I guess that just goes to show you how lonely I was at the time. That’s interesting that you always knew you’d have four girls, and the Lord blessed you with just that.
Before Carter was born, all that Tanya asked was the he have blond hair, blue eyes, and be healthy, and that’s exactly what we got. Praise the Lord!!
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That’s cute!
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