Giving into love…

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“Giving into love is a risky proposition, but worth every moment when you’re in it.”  ~M


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#weekendcoffeeshare – Loss of a friend

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If we were having coffee, I’d tell you how very sad I’ve been feeling over the past couple of weeks.  It’s been a very tough month for me, and I’m living with so many unanswered questions.

Near the beginning of the month, I lost my closest friend.  I haven’t dealt with it very well, but I’m trying my best to let go.  For whatever reason, my friend decided to move on without telling me they were leaving.

I think the hardest part for me, is not knowing why; and I know I never will.  The reason I know I never will, is because I dreamt of them leaving.  It was a fairly recent dream, one I dreamt a few weeks before they disappeared.  I didn’t understand the meaning then, but of course I do now.  I cannot even fathom why they left, especially without saying goodbye; other than maybe they just had no other choice.

I admit at first, I was angry and hurt, and I vowed to myself that I would never trust another person again.  And yes my guard is still up, but I did allow myself to visit with a woman who lives nearby, and it did help to speak with her. I poured my heart out to her and she listened.  She eventually told me it was probably for the better; and even though I hesitate to agree with her, in the back of my mind, I know she’s probably right.

So as hard as it is to live with this sense of loss and pain in my heart, I know I will eventually be okay.  Every day that passes, is another day to find other things to be happy about; and to try and find contentment, even in the monotony of everyday life.

I have never been a quitter, and so I will not give up trying to find a positive light, even in this.  The Lord knows my path better than me, and so I have to ultimately give all of this to him, and let him show me where I should go from here.


Find other weekend coffee share posters here.

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Never surrender

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“With both feet in, you’re sure to win.  Leave one foot out, you’re surrendering to doubt.”  ~M

 


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Long forgotten art projects

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Acrylic tiger painting (completed when I was 16 yrs old)

I’ve been thinking about getting back into drawing and painting.  It’s been such a long time since I’ve done much of anything.  The most I seem to accomplish anymore, is explaining certain art techniques to my girls.

Today I came across these old art projects of mine.  I painted the tiger 29 years ago, and I drew the sketch of my oldest daughter when she was 2 years old.  Unfortunately, neither one of these projects has ever been completely finished.

The painting of the tiger was for a class project. There were three of us in the class, who were basically given the same assignment.  We were all told to draw the same tiger, and we were given a photo out of a magazine to share as a reference.  The only difference was, I was assigned the job of painting the tiger, while another girl was told to draw hers using ink, and the boy who was chosen, was told to use pencil.

I have to say, their drawings turned out so much better than my painting.  I wish I had a picture of their completed assignments.  They were both amazingly talented, and I felt quite inferior when I saw their finished results. In fact, the girl in my class, actually won an award for her ink drawing.  I am quite sure she must have gone on, and made a career out of her artistic abilities.

I was quite disappointed, because I ran out of time for completing my assignment.  It was the first time I had ever had the opportunity to do a painting, and so it took me awhile to figure out how to work with the acrylic paints.  Plus, I was in a drawing class at the time, and my teacher decided to have me be the only student to do a painting.  So I really had no idea what I was doing.

My teacher must have known that I’d be able to figure it out though, and so he sent me home with a set of paints to play around with.  I really wish I could have spent more time on the project.   The bottom portion of the painting lacks the detail I wanted to add; but because I was forced to hand the painting in for grading, I had to leave it unfinished.  I remember the day the project was due, I got to class 10 minutes early, just so I could add the whiskers. Nothing like waiting until the last minute!  Lol…

So what do all of you you think?  Should I attempt to throw myself back into a little bit of artwork once again?  It might be fun to at least designate one night a week for drawing or painting.  I’m still unsure of where to even begin at this point in my life, but I think it would be a nice change of pace once and awhile.

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My daughter Caitlyn (approx. age 2)

Make a difference…

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“Each one of us has the ability to make a difference in the world.  A simple smile can be all that it takes.”  ~M

 


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