Tales of the Dark Side – (Part 2, The Broom Incident)

Continued from:  Tales of the Dark Side – (Part 1, The Broom Incident)

It was actually quite comforting to be back home.  Five months of military training had worn me out, and I was excited to have a few weeks off, before having to report to my first permanent duty station.

As I readied the kitchen to steam the spice broom, I began to daydream about a guy I had recently met during AIT.  He had the bluest eyes of anyone I had ever met, and I loved the way they lit up whenever I caught him smiling at me.

Mom didn’t know it yet, but I had actually gotten a tattoo while I was in AIT, and this guy I liked, (Kyle) had actually forked over the money to pay for my tattoo.  He had even told me that he wanted to marry me and had begun working an extra job, in order to save for our future together.  And yet I was still surprised to see twenty-four long stemmed roses delivered to the house earlier that day.  I wondered… could he really be the one?

After becoming lost in my thoughts of Kyle, I soon realized the pot of water had begun to boil.  Grabbing the spice broom, I carefully held it over the steaming pot of water.  The rich spicy scent of cinnamon soon enveloped the tiny kitchen, and I stood there patiently steaming the broom, entranced by thoughts of Kyle and reveling in the euphoric smell which now engulfed me.

All of a sudden, my day-dreamy eyes caught sight of a wisp of smoke, which seemed to be curling up from underneath the broom.  Then, not even a second later, the entire broom burst into flames.  I couldn’t believe my eyes, and for a split second, I had no idea what to do.  I began to panic, shaking the broom violently, hoping this would somehow put the fire out.

I had just been trained on how to: throw a live grenade, operate a machine gun, set up a land mine, fire a grenade launcher, shoot an M16 rifle, survive in a gas chamber, fight off a person using hand to hand combat, stab someone efficiently with a bayonet, and yet for the life of me, I had no idea in this moment, how to put out the blazing fire which was now right in front of me.

Then suddenly out of nowhere, instinct kicked in and I knew what I had to do.  So without another thought, I held onto the broom as tightly as I could and raced to the back door.  I pushed open the glass sliding door as far as it would go and then threw the broom down onto the concrete patio.  I began stomping out the fire as best I could and then ran quickly back inside to get a bucket of water.

The broom was still smoldering when I returned, and yet the water did the trick.  The broom hissed and steamed at me as I doused it with the entire bucket of water.  Looking down, all that was left, was the tightly woven handle of the broom, the rest of it had completely disintegrated into a pile of ash.

Breathing a huge sigh of relief, I went back into the kitchen, where a thick haze of smoke now lingered near the ceiling.  I knew my parents were sure to kill me when they returned.  My stupidity had almost cost them their entire house, and I felt like a complete idiot.  So much for the courageous soldier, I thought I had become.  It turned out, I was still the same foolish girl I had always been.


The Daily Post prompt – Instinct

Advertisements

New Series… Tales of the Dark Side – (Part 1, Childhood Pranks)

Yes, I was the bratty older sister, and anyone who has known me long enough, realizes just how naughty I can be.  Most of my friends and family members know, that if the opportunity arises for me to pull a good prank, I’m usually up for the challenge.  So let me take you back to my senior year in high school…

I had a brother who was an annoying twerp.  Being he was eleven years younger than me, I loathed his presence most days; and since he was much younger, he sort of put a crimp in my bleached blond style.  Especially on one particular day, I remember it well…

I had just gotten home from shopping with my super cool boyfriend, Eddie Spaghetti.  I know… some nickname, but it’s what his sister called him, so it was a name that stuck.  Anyway, Eddie dropped me off at my door, and I went inside wearing my brand new suede jacket.  I had been saving my money from an after school job for months, and even though the jacket was a size too big, I had bought it anyway.  It was exactly what I felt I needed, to properly fit in at school.

I headed for the kitchen, starved from not eating all day, and saw my brother standing there holding a can of coke.  I sauntered over to him, showing off my new look, and said very casually, “What do you think of my new suede jacket?  It only cost me $300.”  Well, that did it, my brother had just taken a huge swig of soda, and he immediately started choking.

Coke began spurting uncontrollably out of his nose and then shot straight out from his mouth, spraying ruthlessly in my direction.  By the end of his choking fit, (yes, you guessed it) I was completely covered in a thick layer of coke spittle.  Or should I say, my new $300 jacket was covered.  My brother immediately started laughing and pointing his finger at me, and in his taunting young voice, he said, “Ha ha… I ruined your new jacket…”

I stood there in shock, trying to absorb what had just happened, and then I suddenly lost all control.  All I knew in that moment, was that my brother needed to be taken down, strangled, and left for dead.  Well, as I was in the process of choking the living hell out of my angelic little brother, my mother happened to show up.

Having just gotten home, she didn’t seem very happy with what she had walked into.  As expected, I got the full ass chewing, about a million crude words hissed at me, and booted into my room where I was grounded for the rest of the day.  I still wanted to kill my brother, but knew I’d never be able to get away with it.  Then the idea of revenge began to seep into my mind.

 

To be continued… here


The Daily Post prompt – Not Lemonade

What the He-double-hockey-sticks is going on here?

My daughter’s love books as much as I do, and so to suggest getting rid of any books in the house is strictly forbidden. Well, somehow I forgot this simple rule this morning. I have been trying to declutter our house and the girls have so many books, that some of them are even piled on the floor in their bedroom. So I was merely suggesting to my third born (15), that instead of getting another bookshelf (we have 8 in our house already) that perhaps we might instead, just go through some of the books and get rid of a few.

Well, within about two seconds of uttering those forbidden words, my forth born (8), comes running down the hallway towards the bedroom.  With a complete look of bewilderment upon her face, she stood there in the doorway looking at me and then to her sister.  Then with hands on her hips, she said, “What’s going on here?!?” I’m sure if she’d been older, the word “Hell” would have been included in that question.

Anyway, after seeing the confused looks upon both of their faces, I decided to say nothing more and dropped the subject altogether. I suppose another bookshelf is in order. Sigh… 🙄


The Daily Post prompt – Simple