Love and Acceptance

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Oh the topic of love and acceptance, where do I even begin? I am one who easily loves almost everyone I meet. I feel a deep compassion for others and I want to fix everyone’s problems. It kills me every time I see somebody suffering. I want to reach out and embrace the hurting souls of the world and take all of their pain away. When I am rejected by somebody who I am trying to comfort, I don’t understand why sometimes they cannot let me love them. I know part of this stems from my childhood, when I continuously sought after my mother’s love and approval.  My mother made me work for praise and I remember trying so hard to please her and gain her approval. When I would finally do something right, after trying over and over again to do things the way she wanted me to, I would finally get a “Well done” and it made my continuous efforts to please her all worth it in the end. But it was so hard to ever get her approval and I wore myself out trying. I think this is the reason that my relationship with my mother has suffered so much. I know I will never feel fully supported by her and so I have given up trying.  This is the biggest reason that I try so hard to show love and approval to others.  I know what it’s like not to have that support and I want to help others who face this problem too.

Rejection is a hard pill to swallow. However, I know that the only person I should really be looking to is God and how he sees me. I often make the mistake of completely opening up to others and letting them rest in my vulnerable heart. When they eventually leave, they always end up taking a piece of me with them. I suppose this is why I do better when I seclude myself from people. I hide in my house, away from the temptation to love people too much. I know by doing this, there is less chance of me getting my heart torn apart into pieces that I know will never quite fit back together the way they once did. 1 John 4:16 tells us that God is love and I feel a deep connection to this verse. If God “Is” love and we are supposed to follow his example, than we are to be love too. I know we can never fully “Be” love, because only God can do that, but I know I’ve been commanded to love my neighbor as myself (Gal. 5:14) and so I strive to do this as often as I can. I suppose if I just continue to focus on loving God completely with all my heart, soul, and might, as Deuteronomy 6:5 commands us to, then I will be able to accept rejection easier; because my heart will be fully in love with God and his acceptance will be enough.


Photo credit: lifehopeandtruth.com

Live life to the fullest

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“Give all that you have until your very last breath or even in life you will be living for death.” ~M

 


Photo credit: http://www.mindbodyspirit.co.uk

The Vision

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Cool sparkling waters carried me off. I found myself floating freely in a sea of swirling blues and greens. Shimmering waters held me secure as I glided off toward the last flickering embers of the rapidly fading sun. As a leaf, I was free to drift wherever the current would take me. Sailing along, at last I came to rest beside an old creaky wooden fishing boat; which was resting lazily in the middle of the vast open sea. Looking up through the blinding rays of the setting sun, I was suddenly greeted by an all too familiar face. My savior leaned over the side of the boat; gently lifting me from the rippling waters and cradling me in the palm of his hand. He stared down at me with a look of pure love and devotion. After a few minutes of gazing back into his deep brown eyes, he leaned down and kissed me ever so sweetly. He then raised up his hand, lifting me up toward the opalescent sky; stretching out his arm as far as it would go. Then, all of a sudden, I transformed into a pure white dove; flying off toward the last remnants of the glistening sun, as it began to dip slowly below the crystal clear waters. All I remember thinking is… freedom at last.


Photo credit: http://www.robpsychotherapy.co.uk

Don’t let opportunities slip away

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“Dreams can become realities if we choose to stay awake long enough.” ~M

 


Photo found at: weheartit.com

Him vs. Her – The little things

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Do you ever find yourself getting frustrated by the annoying little things that your spouse does? And do you allow those things to become bigger issues than they really should be?

I can think of a zillion times when my husband and I have fought over the most pointless things. For example, I used to get mad at him for leaving his dirty clothes all over the bedroom floor. It wouldn’t have bothered me so much, but when there’s a dirty clothes hamper two feet away, it just seems lazy and almost disrespectful to assume that your wife will pick them up and put them in the hamper for you.

Fortunately, I don’t get mad about the clothes anymore. I do however still get upset when he leaves his size 14 shoes in the middle of the bedroom at night. I mean… who wouldn’t trip over those bad boys in the middle of the night on their way to the bathroom? It’s like he’s setting a trap for me to fall and break my neck! I wonder… is he secretly trying to do away with me? I’d like to think not, but seriously… little things like this can be the cause of some hefty arguments, and a whole lot of late night swearing.

I also think that at the root of every small disagreement, there usually lies a much bigger problem that has yet to be brought up. All it takes is that one little annoying thing that he or she does, to eventually fuel the fire. Oh I hate it when that happens! And when it finally does, one of us is usually regretting the little mishap that started the explosive reaction in the first place.

Our biggest petty disagreement in recent years has been the thermostat. I like the house to be warm and hubby likes it cool. I grew up in sunny California and so I don’t think my body has ever really acclimated to the weather here in Wisconsin. I know this is such a trivial thing to fight over, but I have gone to bed mad at him on more than one occasion, because he didn’t want me to change the temperature on the thermostat. What gets me the most, is when he denies he has changed the temperature, even when I know he has! Why lie about something so insignificant?  Oh he can be so sneaky sometimes!

We have now made an agreement, that I am the “official” keeper of the thermostat. Since I’m home more often than he is, we agreed that I should be the one regulating the temperature in the house. I actually think it was my final threat of going to a hotel to sleep for the night, which finally convinced him to let me have my way. I was very serious at the time and since I’m so stubborn, he knows that when I threaten to do something like this, I may just do it! Thankfully he puts up with my obnoxious behavior and has a very forgiving heart. 🙂

Now that we’ve been married, forever… we often find ourselves looking back at a lot of those trivial moments and we can actually laugh about most of them now. Of course back in the early days of our marriage, we really had a hard time letting go of such unimportant things and our marriage really suffered because of it. We’ve definitely learned how to compromise more, and although I still have my hormonally challenging moments like any woman, his response to my moods has changed for the better.

My husband no longer reacts to my stupid remarks the way he used to, he lets me have time to vent my frustrations and he doesn’t try to remedy the situation. Instead, he just simply listens and tells me he’s sorry. I am amazed by how he has learned to stay calm and not overreact to the stress that I’m feeling. By him being the more level headed person, it calms me down and then I find myself able to let go of the issue and move on more easily.

I feel blessed that after all these years of marriage, I really can’t find too many things that frustrate or annoy me about my husband. Yes, he’s the typical guy with enough burps and farts to clear an entire room, but at the same time… he’s also the one God chose for me to spend the rest of my life with, and honestly… right now, I couldn’t be happier.

Is there anything in your relationship that causes you to feel frustrated or annoyed? And if so, have you found a solution that works for you?


Cartoon found at: nickandzuzu.com