We were running late as usual, just my mom and me. Mom was running around like a chicken with her head cut off and I just stood there wondering what I should do. Eventually she swooped me up under her right arm like I was a football racing towards a goal post. As we raced towards the car (a blue VW bug) in the crowded little parking lot, mom hung onto me as best she could, but I kept slipping further and further out from under her arm until my head was almost touching the wet pavement. She continued to run with me tucked under her arm, and I was thankful when we finally made it out of the rain, and into the car. She dumped me into the seat like I was a sack of potatoes. In under 30 seconds, mom had that car in reverse and we were on our way to the concert. I knew that mom was in a big hurry because she didn’t want to miss her friend who was singing in the church concert. I was a bit scared because we were driving so fast, that I could hardly even see the trees that were just off the road. The streets were in terrible shape. It had been raining for nearly two days straight and I could barely see out of the windows as the glass began to fog up. I sat there quietly in my seat painting pictures on my window. I hoped mom wouldn’t notice or I would be in big trouble. Just as we turned a bend in the road, I saw two lights coming straight at us. Mom swerved into another lane of traffic and tried to stop the car, but for some reason the car wouldn’t stop and the next thing I knew the car was hanging off the edge of the road overlooking a large ravine. My eyes must have been as big as saucers, and when I looked at my mother, she began to cry. I tried to reach for her, and suddenly the car felt as if it were going to topple right off the cliff and into the ravine. My mother yelled at me to remain as still as I could for fear that any movement, even a small amount, might cause our car to plunge right off the cliff. I started to hold my breath and my mother slowly inched towards the door and proceeded to get out. As soon as she reached for me though, the whole car started swaying and she told me to stop immediately and wait in my seat until she could figure out what to do. I of course started crying and felt my whole body get warm. I felt as if at any moment, that I would surely plunge to my death. My mother was frantically looking around trying to figure out what to do. Within what seemed like hours, but in actuality was probably only a few minutes, another car stopped and a women got out to try to help us. She told my mother to have me move into the back seat so that the car would remain more stable with the weight of me in the back. So, I made my way towards the back of the car. The car creaked and groaned as I finally settled into the back seat. A cold sweat ran down my face and I trembled with fear and anticipation of what might happen to me. My mother decided that her only option was to break the back window so that I could climb out. She told me to cover myself as best I could with my jacket and then she proceeded to break the glass with a crow bar that the other woman had found in her car. There was a loud crash, then all I remember was feeling as if a million marbles had suddenly been dumped upon me. The only other thing I remember, is finally being lifted out through the back window and looking down at my feet as they hit the soft earth below. I was finally out and standing on my own two feet. I could hardly believe that I was still alive and then I looked up at my mother, she had begun to scream in terror as she watched our car abruptly fall off the cliff, down into the ravine. I think her terrified scream must have come from knowing that just seconds before, her baby girl had been in that car. I saw her turn white as a ghost and then suddenly she fainted. That is the last thing I remember from that dreadful day and a memory that I will most likely never forget.
“I often feel guilty for being happy.” ~M
I was once given a death threat by a roommate of mine, who claimed that I was too happy. She threatened to slit my throat while I slept, because she said I was way too happy all the time. For some reason my happiness really bothered her.
After spending months in the same room with this girl, she was finally taken forcefully from the barracks, and transported to a psychiatric ward. She was found to have knives strapped to her thighs, and a suicide letter next to her bed.
I have found it hard to be happy in front of people since that day. I feel that somehow my happiness only seems to bring others down, who are not experiencing the same joy in their own lives. Maybe there is still a part of me that fears what may happen, if perhaps I am too joyful around others. Regardless, I am very cautious now and I doubt that will ever change.
It’s so sad to me, that we live in a world where even our own happiness can be threatening to others who long to be happy themselves. I wish I didn’t have to feel guilty for being happy as often as I do. I suppose this is another reason why I find myself wanting to be alone so often. Secluding myself from others, means that I will never have to hurt them.
Life is so difficult at times, this is just another example of why I feel like I can never fully be myself around others. It’s a sad state we live in, when we cannot even show our own happiness.
Photo found at: sonalororra.wordpress.com
I’m rich!!! Lol… First .70₵ ever earned from writing! Hey…. it’s a start, right?
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August 2016 Earnings: $0.70
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July 2016 Subscriber Factor: $0.6954
“People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one.” ~Leo J. Burke
My daughter is turning 8 today, so I thought I’d repost this cute video of her when she was a baby. Happy Birthday Autumn Rose!
For the Writing 101 class we were asked to share a quote and then write something below the quote. I decided to share this video of my daughter instead. Have a wonderful weekend everyone! This video, even though it is of poor quality, is sure to make you laugh. Notice the foot long drool at the end! Priceless moments like these make life worth living! 🙂
Now that you’re all grown-up, tell me… What did you want to be when you were younger and did you eventually achieve your goal?
My parents told me that I wanted to be a singer and dancer when I grew up, although I have no recollection of ever saying such a thing. I only remember thinking that I wanted to be a marine biologist. And the funny thing is, I really have no idea what exactly a marine biologist does. So if you’re a marine biologist… do share!
After graduating high school, I enlisted in the Army, and worked as an Intelligence Analyst for the next 5 years. Once my enlistment was up, I decided it was time for a change. I still had an interest in the science field, and so I pursued a degree in biotechnology. I ended up working at a biotech company and stayed there for 7 years. So I guess in a way, my dream of being in a science type field, did eventually come true.
The thought of being a singer or a dancer scares me to death, so I have no idea why I would have said such a thing. I suppose this just shows how much we really do change over time. Our ideas about what we should do with our lives, fluctuates all the time, and it can be frustrating when certain things we thought we should do, don’t turn out the way we had hoped.
Anyway, this was just something I was thinking about today. Leave me a comment and tell me what you wanted to be when you grew up, and if you haven’t grown up yet, what do you still hope to become?