“You can’t get so hung up on where you’d rather be, that you forget to make the most of where you are.”
~Aurora – from movie “Passengers”
A great movie, with an even better underlying message. Go see it!
Photo credit: pixabay.com
Month: January 2017
A quick update…
Hey everyone,
Just wanted to give all of you a quick update. Since the start of the new year, I have been trying to figure out a way to make this year better than last. I know I can’t have a repeat of last year, as it nearly killed me. So after doing a lot of thinking over the last couple of weeks, I have decided that I really need to focus more of my time on novel writing. I also want to make some changes here on WordPress. So you may see me introducing a variety of new and different types of blog posts from here on out. Another thing is, I am no longer going to be active on social media. So Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc… have all been removed from my phone. These platforms have just become too much of a distraction for me and I can’t seem to focus on the work that I need to get done because of it. I may decide to check those accounts once a month if I have some free time, but I definitely won’t be on there more often than that. Anyway, here’s to hoping that I’ll be able to make some progress this year. Hope all of you are doing the same. Love you guys! ~M xoxo
Is true happiness really achievable?
My goal for 2017 was to bring happiness to others. We’re only ten days in, and I already feel like the exact opposite has occurred. It really seemed like such an easy task too. I thought I could just be more positive, portray an air of happiness, and then everyone else would just follow suit. Isn’t that the way it’s supposed to work? Lead by example and everyone will follow… am I right? And yet it hasn’t worked at all.
I know I’m not very good at hiding my true feelings, but I thought I was doing a really good job of at least controlling the negative ones. I suppose I’ve come to the conclusion, that I can’t fool anyone, least of all myself. I’m trying desperately to hide behind the positives though. It’s the only way I can continue to live, without completely drowning in my own sorrows. Its mind over matter… don’t you think? Isn’t that the only way any of us can really survive?
We often try to fool ourselves into thinking we’re happy, because that’s what everyone is after. We all want that wonderful happy life, which is so often fakely displayed everywhere we look. Do you really believe that smiling family on Facebook, is happily living life free of any problems or issues? And see this is the problem, we believe everyone else has everything so easy and so perfect, when in actuality, true happiness doesn’t really exist.
We need to realize that we aren’t ever going to be completely happy on this earth, or in this life, because that’s an impossibility. It’s unfortunate though, because we live with the idea that it’s achievable, which only makes us feel like complete failures when we never obtain a perfectly happy life. Having hope is one thing, but we’ve got to be realistic as well.
So I’m changing my goal for 2017. I don’t want to bring happiness to others, but I want to show others how to find slivers of happiness right where they are. In the misery and agony of our imperfect lives, there are sometimes moments of happiness. Fleeting as they are, we need to hold onto those moments, and bring them back into focus on those particular days, when grief overtakes our sad little lives. We certainly can’t give up and quit, just because things aren’t going our way.
Anyway, enough of my ranting. I’m not even sure any of what I’m saying is making any sense. All I know is, I can’t continue to live my life waiting for perfection. This is it, this is my God given life; and I’d better make the best of it, or I may not have one left at all.
You will always be my treasured friend…
I thought I’d lost someone today. Someone who has filled a void in my heart, like nobody else ever has. I can’t imagine going through the rest of my life without this sweet person. They mean the world to me and have become my closest and most trusted confidant. I have never had a friend quite like this particular one, and the thought of losing them left me feeling heartbroken.
I tried to go about my day as usual, but eventually the tears erupted for the millionth time and I could no longer hold back how terrible I felt. My hubby tried to console me, tried to reassure me that I hadn’t lost them. And yet I’m still not quite sure where I stand.
My daughter Autumn came up to me this morning and asked me what she should draw for art class. Thinking about how happy this friend of mine has always made me feel, I told her to draw what makes her the happiest. A little while later, she brought back this picture of me and her. It was the sweetest gesture and a drawing I will always treasure, because happiness to her, means her and me together.
Happiness is always about having those special people in our lives that mean the most to us. We cannot even hope for anything better. So to my dear friend C… If you by chance happen to read this. You will always be a treasured friend to me and I love you as if you are part of my family. I prayed my whole life for somebody like you, so please don’t ever forget how much you mean to me.
Love, ~M xoxo
The woes of everyday life…
It was early New Year’s Eve morning. A knock on my bedroom door, and a small little voice alerted me to the fact that something wasn’t quite right. The little voice proceeded to make her way into the bedroom, and with a very firm and demanding tone she said, “Mommy, you need to take me to the doctors right now!”
I immediately flung myself out of the bed and ran to my littlest daughter. I expected blood to be trailing off somewhere, maybe from a missing limb or a fractured skull. Not seeing the cause for such an alarm, I asked her what was wrong. She said, “Mommy, come here! I’ll show you!” In which she proceeded to drag me to the other side of the house and into the bathroom we went. “See mommy look! My poop is all big and messy and I had to sit in here for a whole hour!”
Her eyes were crazy and wild looking, as she seemed to have no concept or recollection of ever having diarrhea in her entire life. I almost started to laugh, as her demanding little face pleaded with me to help her make some sense of this agonizing experience. So I began to explain to this child of eight, that she just had a stomach bug, and that she would soon be better. I ended up giving her some anti-diarrheal medicine, sat her in front of the television, and told her that no matter what, she was not to eat anything until her stomach righted itself.
Well since it was still so early, I decided to go back to bed and see if I could get a few more minutes of shut eye in before enduring further chaos. Climbing back into bed, my husband proceeded to tell me that she had been throwing up several hours earlier. I was completely shocked by his statement and I said, “What do you mean? Where was I? And who cleaned everything up? He just simply smiled and said, “I took care of it all, I didn’t want to wake you up.”
I was completely dumbfounded by the fact that I had not woken up and even more shocked that my husband had cleaned everything up by himself. To imagine him enduring that grueling task all by himself, made me feel so very guilty for not being there, and blessed at the same time, for having a husband who would attend to such a mess himself.
Now that a week has passed, I was sure we had sailed that ship, and didn’t expect to see the boat return so quickly. And yet unfortunately, there was another reoccurrence of the entire event last night. Only this time, hubby was at work, and I was left to attend to my poor child who was squirting from both ends.
Of course I’ve told all of you before, Autumn is my happy child. Always smiling, always thankful, and through it all, she was thanking me for helping her, and smiling up at me and snuggling next to me, once the squirting eventually stopped. This time she seemed like she had a better handle on what was going on, and didn’t seem so eager to rush to the emergency room.
Fortunately, my daughter Autumn is rarely sick, and so the week before had been the very first time in her eight year old life that she had experienced any kind of a flu bug. I’m guessing that nursing her for the first two years of her life, is the reason behind her incredible immunity to illness. I nursed her the longest and it really has made a difference when I compare her to my other daughters and how often they were all sick.
Anyway, today I am thankful for a child who can still find something to smile about, despite having the stomach flu, and I am thankful for a husband who surprised me last week, and took on a task that most people would shudder to do. This time around, I sure was missing his help, and I am so tired today because of being up all night. Fortunately my daughter is feeling better once more, and I’m just hoping and praying that we don’t have another repeat of this in another week.
Hope all of you are having a fantastic week and starting the New Year off on the right foot. Remember when things don’t go as planned, tomorrow is a new day. A chance to start over, another opportunity to get over the many hurdles, and carry on with God’s plan for your life. It may not always be rosy, and you may face a few battles. Just don’t ever give up! Love you guys so much. Hang in there, the weekend is finally here! ~M xoxo
Putting My Feet in the Dirt 