My goal for 2017 was to bring happiness to others.  We’re only ten days in, and I already feel like the exact opposite has occurred.  It really seemed like such an easy task too.  I thought I could just be more positive, portray an air of happiness, and then everyone else would just follow suit.  Isn’t that the way it’s supposed to work?  Lead by example and everyone will follow… am I right?  And yet it hasn’t worked at all.

I know I’m not very good at hiding my true feelings, but I thought I was doing a really good job of at least controlling the negative ones.  I suppose I’ve come to the conclusion, that I can’t fool anyone, least of all myself.  I’m trying desperately to hide behind the positives though.  It’s the only way I can continue to live, without completely drowning in my own sorrows.  Its mind over matter… don’t you think?  Isn’t that the only way any of us can really survive?

We often try to fool ourselves into thinking we’re happy, because that’s what everyone is after.  We all want that wonderful happy life, which is so often fakely displayed everywhere we look.  Do you really believe that smiling family on Facebook, is happily living life free of any problems or issues?  And see this is the problem, we believe everyone else has everything so easy and so perfect, when in actuality, true happiness doesn’t really exist.

We need to realize that we aren’t ever going to be completely happy on this earth, or in this life, because that’s an impossibility.  It’s unfortunate though, because we live with the idea that it’s achievable, which only makes us feel like complete failures when we never obtain a perfectly happy life.  Having hope is one thing, but we’ve got to be realistic as well.

So I’m changing my goal for 2017.  I don’t want to bring happiness to others, but I want to show others how to find slivers of happiness right where they are.  In the misery and agony of our imperfect lives, there are sometimes moments of happiness. Fleeting as they are, we need to hold onto those moments, and bring them back into focus on those particular days, when grief overtakes our sad little lives.  We certainly can’t give up and quit, just because things aren’t going our way.

Anyway, enough of my ranting.  I’m not even sure any of what I’m saying is making any sense.  All I know is, I can’t continue to live my life waiting for perfection.  This is it, this is my God given life; and I’d better make the best of it, or I may not have one left at all.