I’m sure many of you have noticed that I have suddenly gone quiet. I have been purposely trying to limit myself to as few distractions as possible right now. It isn’t because I don’t love and care about all of you. I just really need time away to figure out my life at the moment.
This week is all about soul searching; finding out who I am as a person, and figuring out where I need to go from here. I suppose most of us face a time in our lives when we have to figure things out; preferably on our own without the noise of the world confusing our hearts and minds.
I realize this isn’t the most opportune time for some of you who really need me right now. However, without this time away, I highly doubt I would continue to be of much good to anybody. I’ve just gotten to such a low point in my life, which is why I need to disconnect for a while. It’s do or die time for me.
I’ve been feeling so separated from everyone and everything that matters to me. I have also been struggling to figure out what my purpose and plan is for my future. I seem to have lost sight of everything that I was once so certain of.
So this week, I’m hoping to hear from God in an amazing way; and to my surprise, I already have. After crying out to him and not hearing anything for such a long time, I finally heard his voice in a dream just a few days go. He gave me a specific verse which I plan to memorize this week and I have been posting it all over the place, so that I never forget his message to me.
The verse is Isaiah 54:10, which says… Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed, says the Lord, who has compassion on you.
I had no recollection of ever reading this verse, and I was a bit reluctant to look it up after I awoke from my dream. After hearing that still small voice repeatedly telling me to look it up, I finally did. The words were exactly what I needed to hear from God and regardless of the original context, I know this verse was given to me in that very moment to help me in my own life.
After all the things I have been going through over these last two years, and after all the guilt and shame I have been feeling for quite a while now, God took the time to remind me that I’m still important to him. He also reminded me that no matter what I do, he will never stop loving me. He wants me to feel his peace and wants me to know that he has forgiven every wrong thing that I have ever done. For as the verse says, he has compassion on me.
After reading Isaiah 54:10, I continued reading on and found the Lord speaking to me through many other passages of scripture as well. The answers to all of my struggles are all right there, just waiting for me to grab hold of and put into action in my own life.
I’m excited to hear God’s voice again. I had started to believe that I was too far gone to ever hear from him again. And yet here he is, taking me back in his loving arms. Despite everything that has happened, he is still here; forgiving me and loving me with the kind of love that I had forgotten even existed. I had been searching in all the wrong places, when all I needed to do was seek him. He has everything I need and so much more.
So I’m taking a break, letting him fill me up with his love and letting him lead me. Because I’ve realized something; without God in my life, I have nothing, I am nothing, and I’m ultimately left without a purpose or passion for life. I hope if any of you are feeling lost and separated from him, that you will find your way back too. He’s there… reach out and take his hand. I promise you, you’ll be amazed by what he has to offer.
Putting My Feet in the Dirt 